Breaking the Cycle

[tinnitinous]

I’ve just caught myself wondering what my life would be like if I didn’t factor in drinking.

Somehow I’ve found myself in a loop where all my plans fit around how well I’m going to feel in the morning.

Im totally aware of how bad this sounds, but I also know that I’ll wake up in the morning with the best intentions, but by 5/6pm the loop will begin again.

Perhaps when I read this in the morning it will shame me into doing something about it.

You would be free.
There’s nothing to feel shame about - your brain and body are reacting to alcohol exactly as they are supposed to.
You might want to read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace or Alcohol Explained by William Porter.

It’s so freeing. I remember the first time I went to pick my daughter up from a friends party at like 8pm and thought, how great that I could just hop in the car to get her! I didn’t have to think if I’d had too much to drink. Or if I’d get home in time to drink as much as I wanted. I have so much more time now. I’m not wasting it drinking or thinking about when I can drink or driving 20 minutes to the shop for wine or worrying if I have enough alcohol in the house or if I’ll run out. I have so much more time and space for everything else. I’ll be 2 years sober tomorrow actually!