My best friend of 27 years is an alcoholic, and nearing rock bottom

[BobShark]

As the title says, my oldest friend is an alcoholic,
she hasn’t been able to go more than a couple of days without drinking in years,
she has now been unemployed for almost a year, after losing her job due to drinking and then her apartment.

she is technically homeless, and her partner is now at the point of ending their relationship due to her abuse when drink.

her partner has three children and cannot allow her to live with her and her kids due to the drinking, yet my friend seems unable to stop.

she has offered to pay and support her through a residential rehab facility, but my friend won’t accept it.

a bit relevant is that we live in another country to our families, so I’m really the only person she has now, and as horrible as I feel, I have advised her partner to leave the relationship.

i will not abandon her, but can see after years of functioning she is now close to rock bottom and this will be a tipping point.

does anyone have any advice?

how can I help her? I know she has to want help, but it’s terrifying watching her self destruct and I know it’s about to take a worse turn.

can see after years of functioning she is now close to rock bottom and this will be a tipping point.
Sorry don't count on the Hollywood "rock bottom" moment when everything changes. Yes, I've heard some people apparently do have it. But a lot of people just keep falling and falling until they die. My DF was one of the latter. No matter what help I tried to give him it didn't actually improve his relationship with alcohol, and it took me years to realise it wasn't my fault, I had no power to change anything, and he was the only one who could change.
Try Al-Anon and see what they say, they have good advice about acceptance. And don't lend her cash for anything.

Thank you for your reply, I won’t lend her any money, that’s another thing to be worried about, where she is getting money from. After an international move, and apparently having used all her savings/investments to support herself by September last year, she seems to have more spare cash than I do.

her father died of alcoholism, and I suspect part of the reason for coming back to the country we live in was to escape the accountability of her mum and siblings.

she is currently house/pet sitting in our city, which temporarily solves the housing situation.

no sign of finding work, and although she has permanent residency here, hasn’t been resident here in this visa status to qualify for any unemployment benefits.

i think i may need to call her mum back in the uk, im not sure what she could do to help her either though.

One of the really hard parts of having an alcoholic in your life is accepting that as much as we can see how much alcohol has cost them and how much better their life would be if they put the bottle down, they don't have to agree with you. We don't have the legal or moral right to insist that they live their life the way we think they should.

You didn't cause her alcohol problem, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. She's been offered rehab and I'd guess that regardless of where you are in the world there is an AA chapter or similar. She can get help if she wants but she doesn't want to. What she wants is to continue drinking.

There's nothing you can do. I knew a young woman who drank herself to death despite having a 7 year old who was completely reliant on her.