Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Alcohol support

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Do I stay or go??

2 replies

MummyofTwoXO · 23/03/2025 00:22

Hi my 1st thread here. I am a mum of 2 and have been with my partner over 10yrs. Everything is mostly good but my main concern is my partners drinking. He works full time and occasionally would have a few beers during the week if footy is on but at wknds he would have approx 8-10 drinks every fri /sat and mostly sun. I am not a big drinker myself and rarely would have any. We would normally do family days out wknd but at night he would sit and drink on his own and fall asleep sofa. More he drinks he changes and has to pick at stuff I say. He can be quite moody and bring up stuff from yrs ago and always try to make out that he knows my feelings more than me if I answer him bk. There is no romance at all, barely any conversation as he would sit and drink and scroll on his phone. He doesn't see it as an issue as he works all week and enjoys a drink at wknd but I hate him wen he's a had a few as he can be quite off with me. He makes out I can't cope without him and need him, even sometimes sober he would have his own way of putting me down and he's right. I do love him but am starting to realise that i am sick of the same stuff every wknd. He's a good father but that's issue that I feel keeps us together as I don't want to break up our family. But the drinking and lack of communication and romance is destroying my feelings towards him. I just want a normal life and feel like he needs drink to enjoy a weekend. Any advise be helpful..

OP posts:
T1Dmama · 23/03/2025 02:10

So sorry @MummyofTwoXO

Your husband is a functioning alcoholic!
His abusive behaviour towards you is completely unacceptable though and yes you need to ask him to leave or pack your stuff and your children’s life’s up and leave him….

Alcohol is no excuse to be abusive and besides.. if he knows he’s a douche while drinking/knows you’re unhappy etc then he would stop drinking… but he can’t because he has an issue!!…

Im struggling to see how he’s a good father tbh… he’s spending money on drink that could be improving their life, and he’s abusive to their mum!!… The kids will know exactly what’s going on… don’t raise them to think this behaviour is acceptable

usuallyjustlooking · 01/04/2025 18:56

I was in your position. I stayed as I thought that was the best for the family. I put up with substandard behaviour for many years. I became a shell of myself as I was always walking on eggshells not knowing what his moods or behaviour would be and I would dread weekends. I finally asked him to leave and wish I’d done it years ago. My house is calm - my children are now adults (just) and they think I let him get away with more than I should. They know I deserve better - I only wish I had realised it myself. I was more lonely with him than without if that makes sense. Good luck

New posts on this thread. Refresh page