Does this sound like an alcoholic?

[Wilsonthedog]

I'm from a family of fairly heavy drinkers, and while everyone accepted that my dad "drank too much", it was fairly normalised, apart from by my mum who frequently thought about leaving him for it, but never did.
Does this sound like an alcoholic?

Bottles hidden round the house (behind sofas, behind wellies in the porch)

Secret drinking before dinner, in his "den" where all his booze was stored

Frequently deliveries of wine. Probably had 150 bottles stored in the house at any time, plus beers, spirits etc.

Family acceptance that he could not ever be designated driver if we were going out somewhere in evening. Would have been insanity to expect him not to get pissed.

Used to go to the bottle bank once a week to avoid my mum seeing how many cans/bottles were in the recycling

Drinking upwards of 14 units most days. It's hard to monitor exactly how much.

Slurring words, and being either tedious, overly sentimental, or aggressive and nasty because he was drunk a lot of evenings

Sometimes falling asleep and loud snoring downstairs after dinner

Banned for drunk-driving while one of his young children was undergoing chemo, meaning his wife had to do all hospital trips

Drunk driving 150 miles after an argument with his wife while they were on holiday

Constantly getting up to urinate in the night, because he was drinking so much water to counter the alcohol

Things that make me wonder if I'm overreacting:

Is 80 now and though showing signs of dementia, is strong in all other ways (he was also addicted to exercise so perhaps that protected him)

Always got to work on time, never woke in his own vomit or things like that. Has remained "functional" despite 60ish yrs of drinking like this.

Never drank in the morning except before Sunday lunch.

Thanks for any replies.

My goodness absolutely yes!

I said yes from the first line, hiding alcohol is a classic tell tale sign. Sorry you went through that

I genuinely don't mean this rudely. But if you don't think this is alcoholism, what would you define alcoholism as?!? 100% problematic drinking!!

I've described him as an alcoholic for years, but there's always been this niggling feeling that I'm being overdramatic because not one of my siblings has ever used that word, and because he's managed to stay healthy and functional for so long despite the effect on his family, particularly my mum. Incidentally my siblings are all heavy drinkers too. I just wanted an unbiased view.

Thanks

I think lots of people think if they still work and don't drink before lunchtime, it's not alcoholism. That's not a useful definition. Alcoholism is addiction to alcohol and problematic drinking.

That is 100% an alcoholic. Amazed he has got to 80! My dad was not as bad and he ended up with pancreatic cancer. He drank up to 2 bottles of wine a day and died at 83. He was a bad tempered misery most of his life except for little flashes of happiness after the 2nd glass of wine.

Drinkers who hold down a job and don't drink until after lunch are often called functioning alcoholics - that's what your DF sounds like.

The term alcoholic is no longer used by the medical profession for this very reason. It is now referred to as Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD). It is a spectrum.
Can I ask you why you seek validation with a label? Genuine question, not being rude.

Yeah, it's a fair question.
I suppose because in dysfunctional families, there's often a lot of denial and pretending. It makes you doubt yourself when you do remember things that shouldnt have happened, and sometimes having a simple label which you feel confident of - like alcoholic, with all its connotations - is a clearer way of dismissing those doubts than having to rehash the list of symptoms. Also means you can easily Google those things, look at the effects, and see how to manage them.

I'm sorry about that. Mine was a bad-tempered misery a lot of the time too. Weirdly seems to have mellowed out in his old age.

Alcoholic families exist in denial and it's considered shameful to have an addict in the family.

I'm wondering how functional he would have been without your mum enabling him. Family members who call out dysfunction usually become the black sheep or family scapegoat.

Alcoholism is on a spectrum but he obviously had a problem with alcohol. Many alcoholics don't get drunk, they top up the alcohol in their system.