Support for worried DH

[teawamutu]

DH is concerned about his drinking. He can go days without, would never ever drink and drive, doesn't drink during the day holds down a responsible job etc etc etc. But when he does have a drink, he will tend to keep going, drink more than planned and then feel awful and anxious the next day. I am 100% confident there's no secret drinking and he's a fantastic dad and partner.

There are family factors which explain the social anxiety etc.

Our GP is shit, so that's a non-starter.

I'm looking for ideas, really - is there anything anyone here has found useful in terms of remembering, or helping someone remember, where the Off switch is after the cork has come out? Anything partners can do without infantilising the person in question?

TIA.

The off/on switch is simply a neural pathway. If his brain has learned it’s pleasurable to keep drinking (and it is, initially, or he wouldn’t do it), there is no way you can really undo that neural pathway with little cognitive tricks. I mean, maybe for some sheer willpower works. Or only buying 2 beers and having no more in the house.

I think for most people it’s actually easier to simply not drink than to have a drink or two, then stop, once they get to the place your Dh is at.

Reading something like This Naked Mind might help you both understand more how the brain works with alcohol. There’s also another book by David Nutt about the science around why we drink.

Understanding definitely sounds like a good start. I'll look out those books, thank you.

Never Enough by Judith Grisel, who became a neuroscientist after kicking a drug addiction, explains this very well - why it's so hard for many people to stop drinking (or whatever) once you've started. I can't ever stop at one drink, for lots of reasons. So now I hardly ever drink. It's easier to abstain completely, and I'm so much happier. Good on your husband for addressing this and having so much insight into his own behaviour