13 months sober👏🫶

[Raya25]

I'mve nobody to tell so thought i'd post it here.
I'm nearly 40 and this is the longest I have ever been without alcohol since I was 18. I was drinking up to 5 bottles of wine a day and spent months in a haze unable to differentiate reality from drunken dreams. I would panic and review security camera, phones, browser history to ascertain the damage. Then It's like I developped another persona when drunk and I would delete and hide things for sober me not to find out..it was very scary.

My year of sobriety saw my relationship with DD vastly improve. My health is improved though I have been eating so much sugar so not lost weight. However, my hair is growing back and skin less red. I'm very forgetful still and I still have bad days but they are far less frequent and intense.

There is permanent damage that can't be undone like my DD's memories of her childhood and my dental problems but I feel grateful that I finally managed to stop. I had been trying to stop since I was 18 as I always binge drank from the offset.

I know some people relapse even 10 years later so I know this is a life long thing.. I also know I have been using sugar too much.. so i'm still numbing in unhealthy ways.

I can't believe I made it!

Wow that's incredible! Well done. You're doing amazing, so keep doing what you're doing.. You deserve this happiness and freedom 🎉♥️

Massive congratulations to u OP

That is amazing op well bloody done. Inspirational stuff. You should be so proud of yourself.

amazing to read well done, you should be so proud of yourself what an inspiration you truly are 😊
Long may the road of sobriety treat you good enjoy your new life hope all your dreams come true.
Don’t worry to much about the sugar one thing at a time you can change that you’ve already got what it takes 👍🏻

@Raya25 just to add my congratulations too 👏

What you have managed is truly amazing and inspiring. I’m (only) day 17 after a million day 1s and I hope I can emulate your success. ❤️

You absolute superstar. Well done! Alcoholism is a disease and treatment is hard. Have you spoken to your dd and acknowledged what she went through? That can be very healing for a child even when they are adults.
You will be able to do the sugar too. It's much easier than alcohol and once you reduce it you don't fancy it as much.

Honestly that is so impressive. You really should be so proud of yourself. I wish you the absolute best in your ongoing recovery.

Thank you everyone ❤️
@Makemineasoda well done on 17 days the first month was always the hardest for me
@Moonlightstars yes my drinking comes up maybe once a month? Hearing it is hard but her experience is harder. I have acknowledged my behaviour and apologised to her but I know my sobriety is the best apology because I'd said sorry and made promises before only to break her heart again. I started drinking as the victim and to cope with my own trauma but then I inflicted trauma on my daughter and others. There is a point where your trauma is not excuse enough for the damage. Through my own experience I have more empathy for my alcoholic dad. I thought I'd be a better parent than mine were just because I saw what not to do but my lesson has been that I need to actively deal with my emotions and problems because when I don't I default to the same toxic coping methods I saw growing up. My daughter is a teen and I'm learning with her healthy ways of dealing with our emotions like exercise and journaling. And yeah, the sugar is honestly trivial in comparison to alcohol. I feel more faith in myself that if I managed to stop alcohol I can take control of my diet and to keep trying.

Well done OP. That's incredible.

My mother was an alcoholic and the shame was unreal. She would phone the school ans everyone we knew drunk talking rubbish, drink drive my 7 year old brother to school, shout our the window to neighbours.

I know she couldn't help her drunken behaviour but she just behaved extra nice the day after as she was in denial how much damage she had done but knew at the same time.

She was a beautiful person sober but it got to the stage of coming home from school not knowing which mum she would be.

You are doing yourself and your daughter proud!!!

💐

I’ve also done things I’m not proud of and my children have witnessed me drunk/ hungover many a time.
They never bring it up and if they do they will make a joke about it now they’re older it’s a massive regret for me as a mother alcohol was my coping mechanism when my relationship broke down very emotionally immature I was a young mum and I could have behaved differently I just didn’t have a clue I put partying before my children a lot and looking back now I don’t know wtf I was doing.
So true @Raya25 the best apology is your sobriety not only for your daughter but for you, I’m still a binge drinker I don’t behave like I used to I have a new partner and a solid family unit now, but I’m here doing DJ and also managed 3 months of abstinence last year.
what I’m trying to say is I understand how painful it is knowing that we’ve upset the people we love all because we was drunk which is undoubtedly a terrible shame but we can change and make things right.
you’re on the right path and long may it continue all the best to you and your daughter x

@Raya25 💐 well done on your achievement!

I know it's a daily battle (my brother is a recovering alcoholic and we sadly lost another family member to alcohol addiction too) but you're doing so well.

I know I'm a stranger, but I'm so proud of you getting up and getting through each day.

I hope your relationship with your daughter continues to improve 😊

Wow amazing op. You should be so proud of yourself.

@EveryOtherNameTaken that's gutwrenching to read, I'm so sorry for your experience. I see similarities of my own behaviour with my daughter and my dad's behaviour with me in what you wrote about your mother it was like a flashback. Did your mother manage to turn things around? My dad didn't and he passed away now.

@TimeForNosecco my goodness i could say a lot about mothers and the cultural default to unwinding with a drink, add on it the whole young parent missing out on 'fun' aka getting drunk and it feels like getting drunk is the expectation, juxtaposed by the expectations of suddenly being a sensible grown up parent. Well done on your 3 months sobriety last year, I'm sure it taught you a lot and it's great you're still djing and doing what you enjoy even though there is a lot of drinking temptation and excuses around. I'm happy to hear that your relationship with the kids is good.

@scoopoftheday thank you for your kind words, I hope your brother's sobriety continues and I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thanks @Fundays12 and everyone for your positivity and support.

I know it was a bit attention seeking of me to post about my anniversary 😂😂 but it's one of the biggest achievements of my life and I just knew I'd find people on here who get how hard it is. So thank you again for supporting me and celebrating with me when I know most of us here have our own baggage and difficult memories around alcohol specially so soon after Christmas and all that it stirs up.

You deserve to speak and be congratulated on your sobriety you’ve done amazing. Thank you for your kind words and yes let’s see what happens this time I hope I get to where you are one day! All the best for 2025 x

It is not attention seeking!!

You absolutely should talk about it if you want. Sobriety is also one of my proudest achievements so I totally get you! You're doing amazing

Great achievement OP, well done you

I don't think it's attention seeking at all. It's something you should be able to share and be proud of. I haven't shared on my Facebook I am doing dry January but I have shared it on Mumsnet.

Just wanted to add my congratulations and send a huge hug. Keep focusing on the amazing benefits of a sober life. When I first quit drinking I listened to lots of sobriety podcasts and read as much positive sobriety material as I could. For me quitting booze has only brought positives. I hope the same is true for you. You're amazing, remember that xx

Wonderful! I was in a similar place to you when I got sober and it’s such a great feeling isn’t it. Hitting one year (and then 13 months too!) is a big deal. You are one strong mama. Congrats!