Do I have a problem with alcohol? I don’t know how I can live a life without it

[Bubblesfizz]

nc for this, long time poster.
This is hard to get out and be honest but I haven’t talked about it with anyone. My DH is a big drinker, he drinks everyday, more than me, a few pints on work days and a lot more on days off. Before we met I didn’t drink that much, but I did enjoy wine now and then.

since being with DH (over 10 years) my drinking has massively gone up especially since lockdown. I drink everyday, a glass or two of wine which isn’t massive but Friday/Saturday im drinking a bottle of wine af least and some spirits. I rarely have a day without a drink.

the issue is, I like drinking. I like the buzz, I love the taste of wine. And cocktails. The social aspect of it all. And unwinding at home. Which is why I find it hard to stop.

But I’m also finding daily life a struggle as I feel so hazy during the day, and I don’t know if that’s the alcohol, or being a parent to young children and a tough job. I just feel crap during the day, I have no motivation for exercise or to eat well. The hangxiety is awful. I love alcohol yet I hate the hold it has on me, as In always thinking about it. I just want to have a glass of wine. And I can’t imagine my life without it and feel life would be weird without it.

I have work tomo and want to have a night off drinking, and I’m sitting here debating whether to open a bottle and it’s taking me everything not to.

I just can’t shake the feeling something is really wrong with the way I drink,
I have asked DH to do dry jan with me and he said no. I’m going to try again, but I’ve never completed a dry jan. I’ve told friends I have previous years but lied.

this probably doesn’t make sense and sorry for the ramble.

Dr. Yes definitely. 14units/ week is recommended

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c30pre660mzo.amp?fbclid=IwY2xjawGzEDlleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHUMJPncjEzPCX8Ja8uU2oOBgpDctTP6TwYwSFIXqSNhb8z7k2F8x9_i8_g_aem_kXSVEzqlS7-z9LU7AbG8wQ
Worth a watch if haven't already seen it

Xx

Yes, it sounds to me like you've got a problem and so has your husband. That's probably not what you to hear, sorry.

It's not setting a great example to your children, they will think this is normal and it's not. It might be lots of people's normal, but it's unhealthy and quite sad.

Edited for spelling mistake

If you can't go a day without it, yes, you have an alcohol problem. So does your husband.

Start going alcohol free on a day by day basis, a whole month might seem overwhelming in one chunk. There are loads of non alcoholic versions of wine, spirits, beer etc these days. Maybe try a few of those.

Hey, I hope you are ok. It can be hard to admit these things to ourself but sounds like you are starting to have some realisations about your drinking. Could be an idea to make a doctor's appointment and have a wee chat , see what they say?

Listen to Annie Grace, This naked mind on Audible (or buy the book if you prefer actual reading) it's been life changing for me.

I was going to tread carefully as people get very defensive about alcohol and their love for it, but it’s an addictive drug, one of the most destructive and has zero benefits. Presumably you wouldn’t inject heroine everyday, so why is alcohol any different?

The WHO has declared that their is no safe level of alcohol consumption and as a child who’s parents drank everyday, they will notice, even after you’ve just had one glass, it changes a person and the atmosphere in the home, though kids of even moderate drinkers grow up to be excellent negotiators who can read the atmosphere in a room and diffuse it if necessary.

Drinkers always think that nobody notices that they have consumed alcohol, but bloody hell others do, especially children. Just you and your husband stop and if you must drink, do it occasionally when your children are staying over elsewhere.

Oh and don’t any moderate drinkers come after me with ‘whaaa but I’m different’!