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Alcohol support

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To delete alcoholic mums alcohol delivery?

2 replies

alco · 11/10/2024 20:20

I'll start by saying I am a recovering alcoholic so I have a strong understanding of what she is doing.

My mum is an alcoholic, she would never in a million years admit that but 100% she is. She is supposed to have been off the booze 5 years since she had a major health issue. The doctors all warned her that needed to be it.

She has been having another serious health issue the last few months. I didn't think it was drink related but now I think drink is playing its part.

I knew she had been drinking, I found an empty bottle at her house, voice was a bit off, texts were all very off.

She had a HUGE relapse last week. Believe me I am not judging I have been there. Me and her siblings have been supporting her. I don't live locally but 2 of her sister have been fantastic.

I logged into her online shopping account (password is saved to my laptop from before). Very intrusive I know. For months she has been ordering 10 bottles of wine every 4 to 5 days. Then a bottle of gin every 2 weeks and some beers.

I told her I knew she had been drinking and that I get it she just denied it. She said her slip last week was completely because of me stressing her out, long story, yes I've caused her stress but her response was not my fault.

I told her I had found bottles in her house and she said she didn't know how they got there. She lives alone and the house was completely vacant before she moved in.

Anyway she hasn't ordered anything all week but I recon there were reserves. I now see an order for tomorrow with 10 bottles of wine and a bottle of gin.

What do I do!? Cancel the order? Ask her sister to be there when the order arrives?

I can't discuss this with DH because of how she raised me (or to the point didn't she abandoned me to a relative and took me out when it suitrd her) and her general attitude he has never been her biggest fan

But I don't want her to drink herself to death.

She's texting me all the right thing right now. I even said to make sure all is out of her house she needs no temptation. .

OP posts:
Pippa246 · 11/10/2024 21:36

I feel your pain @alco (I too am/was a problem drinker and my DM was an alcoholic) and I can see the temptation but what would it really achieve?

Maybe make you feel you are doing something but you risk pushing her into more drinking out of anger/feeling like you are controlling her. You can’t presumably control her spending/shopping long term so she will just drink again as soon as she can. I know you know this but she won’t stop until she wants to - which may be never 💐

Rocknrollstar · 11/10/2024 22:07

If you cut off her alcohol supply completely she might start having fits. You can’t just go cold turkey - you have to stop gradually. In any case, cancelling the order won’t stop her drinking. she will get alcohol somehow, somewhere if she wants it. You know what they say:
You didn’t cause it
You cant cure it
You cant control it.

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