One addiction at a time, definitely a good idea! In the past when I've tried to quit drinking, I've gone really overboard and tried to change everything at once. No drinking, no smoking, no sugar, no carbs, suddenly implement a strict exercise routine... I don't think I've ever lasted more than 2 weeks! So, this time, I've decided to take it slow and just focus on alcohol. I'm lucky in that I physically can't vape - I've tried, but it just makes me cough! - although I did smoke cigarettes socially when drinking. Sober, smoking makes me feel dizzy and sick so I've not found it hard to quit that. But the last time I quit drinking I did have the odd cigarette when I felt especially tempted to drink. I think it helped at the beginning! Maybe you can give yourself a goal that you'll try to quit vaping. Like to celebrate 100 days without alcohol... or a year, or something. Don't push yourself too hard!
Ooh I've never knitted or crocheted! I have no idea how - maybe I'll give it a try! Maybe there's a YouTube video I can find. We can share photos of our creations😁 I'm sure mine will be terrible, I'm very uncreative and very bad at hands-on tasks, but maybe now's the time to get some new skills.
Today is day 21 for me, and yesterday I nearly quit and bought a bottle of wine because I was so stressed out. My horrible landlord won't fix a huge hole in the garden fence (worse - it's a roof garden! So, the hole leads to a sheer drop off a building!). But instead I fixed it myself (a very amateur job, but at least I know no pets are going to fall off the roof!) and ordered some new plants to fully block off the area to be extra safe. I've never gardened in my life, so maybe this can be another new skill I acquire instead of drinking. Recently life has been throwing a lot of problems at me, or situations I'd like to avoid. I've been so tempted just to buy some alcohol to de-stress or to reward myself after dealing with a problem! But instead I've been realising that dealing with problems alcohol free is very fulfilling... I feel a lot stronger for it.
I'm like you and I ALWAYS reward/destress myself with alcohol. I'm not really sure how to reward/destress without it! I'm trying to find that treat that is as appealing as alcohol. Yet to find anything... how about you?
Also like you, I come from a family of functioning alcoholics. My parents used to maintain good jobs and then relax each evening with several vodka or gin and tonics or glasses of wine. I grew up with it always being seen as a nice and normal way to relax in an evening. Looking back, the amount they drank was very unhealthy.
Any kind of break is going to be a big challenge, but it's lucky your friend isn't a drinker - having friends who don't drink is priceless at the moment! Does your mum know that you're trying not to drink? It's difficult because having a couple of glasses of wine with a parent seems so harmless but for me at least, having a nice, civilised evening with alcohol always makes me think "That was so nice! I want to do it again!" and then I start drinking more often, and it always ends up leading me to nights where I experience the less nice side of alcohol. But you're absolutely right that you shouldn't beat yourself up if you do have a drink, and just pick yourself up and keep trying. Shouldn't be too hard on yourself. From what I've been reading from other people's successful sober journeys, it's a process which has some inevitable bumps!