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Alcohol support

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Is he an alcoholic? Alcohol abuser?

4 replies

Loggerhead300 · 17/08/2024 03:12

I think I probably know the answer to this but I need to know I’m not crazy!

my husband has always been a social drinker but lately it’s getting out of hand.

He drinks probably 4/5 nights a week at home could be 3-4 beers weeknights or half a bottle of rum and a couple of beers at the weekend.

when he goes out for a drink he is always looking to get drunk (total binger) to the point I don’t want to go out for a drink with him anymore as he can’t just have a couple he gets to the point of slurring and making no sense. If we want to go out without the kids it has to be centred around drink and he hates going anywhere there might be drink like a family bbq when he can’t drink - it’s his turn to drive. Last week we went out he drank 3 pints in the time I drank half a glass of gin and lemonade.

I have had a couple of convos this year about the excess and he brushes it off saying why do I question how much he drinks! One day i asked him if he was unhappy with our home life and that did upset him, he said he would cut down that didn’t happen. He is never violent.

he doesn’t think he has a problem at all he just likes a drink.

he never seems to have a hangover ever, apart from a couple of months ago he had a ‘stomach bug’ after a heavy weekend.

Ive had a really stressful couple of days with another family issue and tonight he said he was going for a couple of drinks after work. It took him 5 hours to do an hour journey home because he got a train half way home then got a train back in the wrong direction and was calling me telling me he had no idea where he was and that all he was doing was trying to get to a town we live no where near not on our train line! I could see his journeys on tracker app so could tell him where he was and to get an Uber! I’ve waited up till 3 am and he has come in stinking of booze! He left the pub at 9.30pm!

any advice welcome

OP posts:
tunapicklesandwich · 17/08/2024 03:30

Yes, he is. It sounds stressful to live this way. What do you want advice on OP? Do you have children with him?

Loggerhead300 · 17/08/2024 03:42

We have one together and I have older children. I’m not sure how to make him see this is a problem I think maybe he does but is in denial.

OP posts:
tunapicklesandwich · 17/08/2024 04:00

I would sit down and be direct with him. He needs professional help but obviously he needs to be willing to take it. If he doesn't...it's no way to live like this and impact of alcohol abuse at home is devastating for children. I'm sorry you are going through this OP, it's very tough.

Fleetheart · 17/08/2024 04:05

the definition of an alcoholic is someone whose drinking is causing problems
Obviously this is the case and obviously he’s in denial.

I think the way to tackle it is to establish some really strong boundaries; ie

”You can drink what you like, but I’m not going to live like this, and if it carries on we will
meed to split as it’s making me unhappy.”. It seems harsh but he’s the only one who can change what he drinks- and you’re the only one who can make choices for you.!

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