Going on holiday with drinkers

[peebles32]

I have stopped drinking for the last 6 weeks and feel amazing. I used to drink a lot but over the past few years I have drunk less so for health reasons, I have decided to stop. When I did drink, it tended to be when we went out for meals with friends or social events. I always had a few but I get flushed easily and suffer for days.
However, we go on holiday with really good friends next week and we normally all eat out and drink, which is a big part of the holiday.

I have explained that I am not drinking and there is no pressure from them to drink.
However, I have FOMO. Even though I don't want to drink, I feel I will be missing out. My husband and this couple will be drinking and I feel abit of a bore.
I really really am not bothered about drinking but I know I will get irritated when everyone is smashed! Any ideas on what I can do to make it easier?

will they all get “smashed”?

how old are they?

I don’t think I could do it op. I’ve been sober now for 7 months, I live abroad, when people come to visit who are drinking I get seriously triggered, I just find it too much that i would rather stay in now.

Why does age matter? There is only three of them and they will probably drink too much some nights.

That's the word I am looking for. Triggered!

I don't drink either, haven't for years. I tend to just call an early night for myself on holiday once people start to get loud and annoying! Go home for a cup of tea and read my book. But I couldn't care less if people think I'm boring!

because if you were in your early twenties i could understand

but much older than that and getting “smashed” on holiday?

drinking too much and getting tipsy isn’t “smashed” 😕

Maybe I used the wrong word. All in our forties. They will drink with most meals but I know they will drink too much some nights.

I will just want to come home after the meal no doubt whereas they will want to go for drinks.

go for a nice post dinner stroll, back to air conditioned room, and kick back with your book / film

surely your partner will want to come back with you most nights anyway?

I always try to keep in mind how great I’ll feel the next morning. Just keep reminding yourself you’re going to sleep soundly and wake up fresh. You can get up in the morning and take a walk in the sun, get an iced coffee etc… for me it’s not about the fact that others will be hungover, I don’t think I’m somehow ‘better’ than them, its purely how soul destroying and low hangovers made me feel. If you’re the same, just hold onto the fact that if you stay sober you won’t have that horrible black cloud that affects you so much.

Maybe postpone quitting completely until after the holiday! It doesn't sound like you are dependent on alcohol so I'd give it one last hurrah within minimal limits, and go for it.

I don't drink and spent from 3pm until 9pm at a post Christening party in a (lovely riverside) pub yesterday. Plenty of drinking going on but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was fun actually watching the amusing change in the drinkers as the day wore on, more animated and so funny. We have a nice family though lol.

wtf? the op hasn’t drunk for 6 weeks

shes doing so well

and you are suggesting she go back to drinking?

If you want to go home after the meal then you may need to do that alone. It sounds like previously you would have been happy to stay out drinking with them so it's unfair to expect them to change their behaviour.

I gave up drinks over a year ago and actually, I thought nights out would be hard but for me they're not. My friends still drink and I have non alcoholic drinks with them and it doesn't make a massive difference. The only different bit is I'll go to bed a but earlier if they're drinking into the early hours.

OP has posted in the alcohol support section, has been off alcohol for 6 weeks and you’re suggesting to ‘go for it’ and have minimal limits??? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Hi - well done on your 6 weeks! How you play this depends a lot on the circumstances- eg will you be eating out in restaurants, and would you be comfortable heading home on your own? Can you eat in a few nights so you can head to bed early some evenings?

Your sobriety is so hard won, that it is worth preserving while you are away. And yes, evenings when everyone else is drinking can be a drag, but it is so worth it the following morning- those early morning coffees, walks and swims are the best time of the day, that drinkers are missing out on.

Thanks everyone. I won't go back to it and already checked out Mocktails in local restaurants and there seems to be a god choice. I will probably be the driver as well as we have a hire car so I can always get back by myself which is good.
I feel so much better with these replies and I know I will feel great each morning with lots of sleep so going to focus on that. Early mornings with a coffee and a stroll.

Sounds good! The amazing thing with sober holidays is you actually come back feeling like you’ve had a holiday …

After being a near daily drinker for decades ( min of 50units a week) I quit on NYD so am 7 months alcohol free. Physically and mentally I feel so much better. I’ve just completed my first sober holiday since I got drunk at a Greek wine festival aged 15 back in 1990. I had a couple of wobbles, 34 years of associating holidays with excessive drinking is a long time, but I didn’t cave and they quickly passed. My husband and friends were drinking and it honestly didn’t bother me.

I never ever thought I would enjoy an alcohol free holiday or that my ice bucket would contain water rather than wine, but it’s been a revelation. I’d recommend not drinking.

Plan other enjoyable things for when it gets too much: going back early, having a bubble bath, reading a book

While you're out with them order yourself fancy non-alohilic cocktails or beers. Or just have tonic water.

I think being sober feels worse when people are annoying drunk (hence going home), but also when you feel like you're just sat there with nothing or a glass of water. Sometimes it's nice to laugh along and have a drink in your hand, even if that drink isn't alcoholic.

And keep the non-alcoholic drinks rolling, match them round for round (switch to tonic or tea if sugary AF cocktails get too much) - that way it doesn't feel like you're just sitting there waiting for it to end so you can go home.

That's the bit I am looking forward to!

Well done. I will remember this post when I am away. It's a lifestyle choice as I also had a health scare which has prompted me to stop. I haven't been told to stop but I know that alcohol with this medication can be tenuous.
If I feel 'triggered' I will leave. However, I ironically I only feel triggered when I have had a drink.

On my sober holidays I would always have a dessert which I never did because of the calories! How messed up is that 😂

a nice coffee as well helps - I used to think no coffee I won't sleep! Whilst knocking back Bacardi and cokes ... 🤣

The way to think about this is that you can be fun even without drinking. They will be the boring ones when they are hungover the next day and not able to do much. So, you can be fun both in the evening with no drink and the next day. Have a read of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober if you get time.

Back some time ago I had six months sobriety behind me and I had two holidays sober I have to say these holidays were the best I’ve ever had.
I had more energy my skin was glowing I was fully present at all times and managed to see sunrise every morning because I wasn’t hungover i had the most beautiful moments that I will treasure.
as of late my holidays have been piss poor hanging in the sun is not fun!! Feeling fat and bloated from drinking is not fun. Having drunk rows and blacking out definitely not fun!
i have a holiday coming up with friends and I plan to stay sober I know I will get the oh come on you can have a few your not that bad etc! But they don’t have to deal with my crippling anxiety after drinking and pick up the pieces if I do something embarrassing.
I will be heading back to my room early and planning my morning routine which will be a walk, sunrise and a few coffees before I know these guys won’t be out of bed before 10 am and will be feeling like crap from the night before.
I hope you have a great holiday and get some beautiful peaceful moments