Am I over reacting

[UmberPanda]

I don’t know anymore if I am overreacting to my DHs drinking and being controlling or if this isn’t normal. He can’t drink directly before a shift as can’t have alcohol in system and it can be randomly checked. But any days he doesn’t have a shift he seems to have to drink. And a lot. He sees no point in one or two and any suggestion of this has labelled me as boring. Typical evening off would be a box of twelve beers or recently I came down to him having had half a bottle of tequila and whatever was left in a bottle of spirit he previously professed not to like. If we are on holiday then it has to start at 10 latest and continue till he drops. He just had training at work which finished at 1ish and so has had one on the way home (or at least that’s what he says, he is slurring and over affectionate). I guess I just want opinions of whether what I have said just sounds like normal drinking or a bit too far. I don’t want to be a nagging wife over something most people would consider normal. Thanks :)

How many days a week is this, that he doesn’t have a shift?

Can be one could be two or three.

This isn’t normal in any way. He sounds like a full blown alcoholic. But regardless of terms, it sounds like a horrible experience for you to have a partner so desperate to drink to excess.

And don’t suggest you might be a nagging wife. That’s a sexist term and I imagine you’re steeling yourself for him to call you that if you raise the issue.

You can’t stay in a relationship with someone who puts alcohol first again and again.

So your fears and feelings are totally based in reality OP.

I wouldn't consider that normal in any way. Basically he's either working or drinking - do you ever do anything together that doesn't involve drinking? Do you have kids? If not then this is not a man to have children with and perhaps it's time to call it a day.

See if it was one then although I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily “okay”, I would say it’s more normal than you’d think. Lots of people spend one of their days/nights off in the pub, he’s doing the same thing just at home. If it was once a week I would just think that’s his way of blowing off some steam/relaxing from a working week- lots of people do it.

If however he’s drinking that much 3 days a week then that’s a much bigger problem.

Does he drink after work on the days he has shifts?