Ex Alcoholics ...alcohol free beer?

[YourMomGoes2College]

DH has given up alcohol (and weed & cigs!)

It's been about 18 months and when it gets sunny he longs for a beer but says he won't have one.

I was thinking of ordering him some quality non alcoholic beers.

But would that be a negative thing for him?

He won't admit he was an Alcoholics, but he was drinking every night and lots.on weekends and it caused alot of shit in the house.

Would it he a bad idea or do ex Alcoholics have non alcohol beer?

Hi, my husband quit alcohol about 2 years ago now. He gets himself alcohol free beer for nice days and enjoys them. He likes Guinness and pink af.

He also wouldn't admit he was an alcoholic like yours.

Why do you need to order him some quality non alcoholic beers? What's the aim?

I don't think it's a good idea. It's unnecessary.

Don’t. Let him decide for himself.

Some ex drinkers enjoy an alcohol free beer, others avoid them for fear of getting the taste back. It's definitely something he should decide for himself, rather than be given as a well meaning surprise. Presumably, if he wanted them, he'd have been able to get them himself.

I struggle with non alcoholic drinks as they taste like alcohol and it gives me the urge to drink actual alcohol. So I avoid them personally.

My sibling is a recovering alcoholic and avoids alcohol free drinks as he says they give you the taste for drink.

It's definitely a personal choice. I drink alcohol free peroni , which is I really like , but I didn't stop drinking due to alcoholism so it's not triggering for me. I'd let him decide if he wants to try it.

Personally I wouldn’t.

It’s reinforcing that connection that a sunny day = open a beer. It’s the whole act of drinking something that looks and tastes like alcohol, even if it’s alcohol free.

If you do then make sure it definitely is alcohol free, some of them contain 0.3 to 0.5 percent alcohol when you read the label closely.

I am ex drinker. I am not sure 'alcoholic' label is particularly helpful to anyone. Actions are - so drinks to a point causes issues to your health, job, people who care about you - not good. Stop drinking and no longer have those issues - better.

And how you do it doesn't matter - I went the just stop drinking, read a lot of quit lit and online communities. I drink a lot of alcohol free, 0.5% stuff. My friend went re-hab, AA, define yourself as alcoholic and avoid anything to do with alcohol.

They are both legitimate ways of doing it. I admit to being slightly sneery about the second (but not my friend who I love very much!) - it seems to me it makes your life about alcohol for ever and ever, when I think point is to move on.

I think as pp said you should really talk to your DH about what he believes and what supports him to not drink alcohol. But if he hasn't found his way to AF beer himself in 18 months - it's everywhere now - I'd assume he thinks it's a risk.

My partner, ex alcoholic for 9 years drinks 0% beers but over the years has accepted the fact he won't go down that route again as he has so much to lose if any alcoholic drinks (especially neat vodka) goes past his lips.

He has a much better relationship with alcohol and his life so 0% alcohol free beer and a bit of alcohol in food is fine.

He does use his soda stream regularly because he says the fizziness gives him the same first hit that alcohol used to give him.

He also won't go to a live cricket match because it has connotations of drinking cider and being extremely drunk.

If he wanted to drink a 0% beer he’d have bought one himself. The most you could do is suggest one next time he says he’d like one on a sunny day - I expect then he’ll say ‘Not the same, I’d rather not’ and then that’s your answer.

I agree with letting him decide and buy it for himself. He knows where to buy it if he wants to. For me a big part of coming to terms with my DH's alcoholism was that I can't help him he had to solve it himself. He eventually did but I feel his recovery and how he manages it is still his business only. Getting involved with it could be a set back.

Think about it, what’s the plus about drinking beer on a hot day? The only way in which it’s difference to a soft drink really is psychological and alcohol content. Both these things could be really risky for an ex over drinker.
I do get that he may really enjoy a beer flavoured alcohol free drink, but why? It’s the association with past drinking.
Can you find something new and unrelated to alcohol?

I’m a sober alcoholic and I love an AF beer. But yes, he needs to make this decision for himself. I think they are a great alternative and were really helpful in supporting me getting sober as I built in new habits around drinking AF drinks that replaced all the dangerous drinking I was doing. But they can be triggering for some people.

Being sober is all about being accountable to yourself and taking back power in your life. He’s an adult. He knows there are AF alternatives out there. If he wanted them, he’d get them. Let him be in control of his sobriety and don’t try to force your own way of doing it. Just ask him what he would like to drink and buy him that. It could be lemonade is his thing and that’s great too.

I think you'd be crazy plus inconsiderate.
He's an adult, if he wants some/one he can buy them.
I wouldn't go tempting someone who is doing so well, it feels deliberately risky.

I’ve been alcohol free for 18 months and also went down the quit lit route which has worked very well for me. I enjoy AF cider and lager and it doesn’t trigger me at all. I’m so happy I quit I don’t currently feel there’s any risk of me drinking again.