I'm so done

[NeverWheesht]

I drank 1.5 bottles of wine last night. I don't drink every day, but I binge about twice a week.

I'm fat, spotty, exhausted, ashamed, and feel like I'm having a panic attack.

I've read all of the books and listened to the podcasts.

I can even go a week or 2 not drinking. But once I start I'm gone. I don't stop until im passed out.

I woke up full of anger today and I'm just completely done this time. Just getting this written down has made me feel more determined.

I came to the same realisation at Christmas. I was drinking 1- 1.5 bottles of wine a night minimum and I was at the point where I was just sick and tired of drinking. 5 months later I feel so much better. It’s not always been easy, I’ve turned to wine for every emotional event, positive or negative for years not to mention a decades long habit of drinking, but it’s been so worth it. Physically and mentally I feel so much better. Like you I can’t moderate, so I can’t drink. Good luck.

I feel exactly the same but I’m scared. I’ve tried to stop so many times. I hate myself for not being able to prioritise my family and my health.

There are a lot of threads on here full of people with the same story OP, please don’t feel alone. I’ve been trying to cut down since august last year and after a bumpy start I’m back to doing well. I’m the OP on one of the long running threads here, I’ll post the link, you are both very welcome to join.
What I have learnt since joining is every dry day counts, not to beat myself up when things don’t go to plan and to jump straight back to day 1. It’s not been easy but I’m currently sitting here sober on a Saturday night, next to DH drinking. I’ve drank once in the last 70ish days. I feel so much better.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?page=1
This is the thread. I should say it’s not one of the dry ones. It’s one where we welcome everyone. Most people are trying to abstain completely but there are also quite a few who moderate (to varying degrees of success), some just want a dry month… we have all have our own goals.

@NeverWheesht @phemenomum I had the same realisation last Sunday morning. I woke up after yet another night of bad sleep, lying awake at 3am wondering why I do it to myself and feeling like an utter failure.

So I decided that enough was enough and I was going to have to stop.

Downloaded the Reframe App and joined the quit track and on D4 joined this 🧵

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5051277-new-april-continuing-thread-for-living-an-alcohol-free-life-all-welcome

It is a super supportive, inclusive space. Come and join us!

Hey all, hey @NeverWheesht @phemenomum - do you fancy joining the thread @AFmammaG linked to? She's an epic support and there are lots of people on there who will understand whatever challenges you're going through.