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Alcohol support

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How to best support my son

5 replies

LadyWentworth · 21/05/2024 21:35

My son is 18 and we found out he had been drinking secretly, alone in his room earlier this year. We found him very drunk one night. He cried and told us he was depressed and using alcohol to cope. We found 12 empty vodka bottles in his room. We had no idea as he was so secretive and drinking late after we had gone to bed.
He did go to the GP and has started sertraline. He finds it very difficult to talk about his feelings and just says he’s ok. He tried counselling but couldn’t talk to them. We’ve been keeping a watchful eye since, as much as possible but he’s an adult - we can’t monitor him all the time. We let him know we are here and will help and support him if he needs it.
Last week he lost his job. I feel he has low self esteem and this has been a knock for him. He went out for a walk yesterday and later my husband found a receipt for shopping including vodka. He eventually admitted he had bought a small bottle and drunk it on his walk.
I’m terrified this is going to escalate into a real problem. It’s not the amount he is drinking but hiding it and keeping it secret. He shuts down when we talk to him. What do we do to support him?

OP posts:
BlueJamSandwich · 21/05/2024 21:57

I'd tell him Sertraline takes a while to work and doesn't mix well with alcohol. Alcohol is often used to self medicate for depression and anxiety but, after the initial euphoria & relaxing effects, it is a depressive.

Mind offer a free supported self help 6 week course (not counselling)
https://www.mind.org.uk/get-involved/supported-self-help/

There may be other services/centres in your area he'd feel comfortable accessing.

I hope things improve for you.

NextPhaseOfLife · 22/05/2024 18:30

I'm sorry for you all, @LadyWentworth

This is a very tough situation.

There is a drugs & alcohol helpline for young people and their families / it's called Frank.

I've spoken to them in the past about a family member and found them very helpful.

www.talktofrank.com/get-help/concerned-about-a-child

I'd get in touch and speak to someone. I hope they can help x

Tangelablue · 22/05/2024 18:37

Would he engage with local drug alcohol services? Many we are with you and change Grow Live have young persons teams which go up to aged 25. Some stop at 18 and the adult services work with anyone 18 and over. Sewing what's local might be a good place ro start of he's willing to be supported.

takemeawayagain · 22/05/2024 19:03

Has he always struggled? How is he socially? Is it possible he's undiagnosed autistic? I ask as most 18 year olds would be out drinking with friends rather than drinking alone - plus him really struggling to articulate his feelings.

Loads of love and support from you of course and engaging with him as much as possible. Is he still at school? Definitely talk to them if he is and get some help and support there. Does he have A-level exams coming up? Is he very stressed about them?

LadyWentworth · 22/05/2024 19:59

He did A’levels last summer. Hasn’t got a path/plan - he had a uni place but deferred it and now thinking he doesn’t want to go. He is job hunting. He has always been a bit shy, likes to stay under the radar but no autistic traits really. He has a girlfriend and sees friends occasionally but not often. Thanks for advice.

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