I have been married for 25 years. In the early years of marriage my husband had a severe bout of depression resulting in extended time off work. This has happened 6 times in our marriage. Over the years used alcohol to feel better. It became problematic as he was hiding the drink, would drink whilst looking after the kids etc. Hit crisis point and I had to involve family and friends as I could no longer cope with drinking and the associated behaviours. Lots of counselling and alcohol support for a period of time. Promised that he would not sit in the house drinking on his own again, started running and has been fit and healthy. Still, on a semi regular basis gets drunk in the house , no evidence of the alcohol anywhere but usually in the outside bin and normally bottle of wine and 4 lagers. It’s very obvious he’s been drinking and he gets annoyed that I can tell. He slurs, shuffles when walking , his eyes glaze and he sleeps a lot. This kind of behaviour triggers me, I worry greatly about it as I see no pleasure in sitting in the house on your own drinking to excess. He spends a lot of time on his phone when he’s drinking and in the past people have approached me to ask if he has been ok as he messages and can be odd or confrontational by message when drunk. If I try and discuss it it’s always met with me being negative, always criticising, can he no longer enjoy a drink without me watching him etc etc. I like a drink myself occasionally but see it as a social thing with friends. Not on my own in the house trying to hide what I’m having? He denies a problem but I don’t understand why he would choose to do this when he knows how much it worries and upsets me? I am away with work today, I don’t get away often so was looking forward to a quiet night but my mind is full of worry, I barely slept last night and today I have had to take propranolol throughout the day. My friend came over yesterday and he was lying sleeping in the afternoon and she made comment about it as he quite often is asleep during the day if she pops in. He was unpleasant when he woke yesterday accusing me and my daughter of hiding his phone when in fact he was just sitting on it. The kids are not stupid and over yrs have noticed when he has been drinking. I am made to feel I am overeacting to this and making it into a bigger thing that it is? If he is in control of it is he just making a conscious choice to really hurt me? His reputation and image is very important to him so for many yrs this was not known by anyone out with direct family. I’m exhausted by it.