Alcohol and autism

[Someonescatmum]

Hi all.

I'm looking for help reducing my intake as it's affecting my health and self esteem. I'm 42 and just diagnosed as autistic. It's quite clear to me that I've used alcohol as a way of feeling normal, feeling fun and being sociable for at least 15 years. Has anyone found a substitute, or been able to drink in moderation? Socialising is part of my life and job but I get massively fatigued from drinking on top of socialising so no easy solution.

I'm not keen on quitting completely but appreciate I may have to to get the health benefits. I've been reading articles about the relationship between autism and addiction and it is quite scary.

Thank you

Hi OP
You may find over time, as you settle into your diagnosis, that you feel less need to "fit in" or boost your confidence by drinking alcohol. It's also worth taking any post-diagnostic support you are offered by autistic services.
My partner is also autistic and used to be a heavy drinker. He's found it helpful to have something to make social situations easier - in his case, he's taught himself a load of magic tricks, which make a good conversation starter, however something different may work for you.

Thank you good to know I am not alone :)

After a couple of drinks, I am way more verbal, witty and gregarious. I have tons of energy. I like who I am more after drinking, than not. It's really unfortunate! But the next day I am whacked with fatigue and anxiety.
I've started experimenting with non alcoholic drinks to see if it's partly a psychological effect.

A couple things I would say after reading your post. You may just have to learn in time to get more comfortable with who you are and what you enjoy. I'm not autistic, but I don't particularly enjoy doing social things. It's not that I have social anxiety or any of that, I just am happier not and that's fine. I have lovely friends and family and I have a job that does to an extent require me to be social, but when I get a choice, I'd rather be at home on my own (well, with my dc, I'm rarely alone!). That's okay. It's better to be who you are than to have to self-medicate to force yourself to be someone you aren't.

What you may find though is that if you give up relying on alcohol as a crutch in social situations, that you don't actually need it anymore. It's a bit like cutting out coffee. Many people think they need coffee to wake up in the morning, but actually when they cut it out, they realise that they have so much more natural energy and wake up just fine without any caffeine. Alcohol is a bit the same. I'm a year sober now and I find that social situations are fine without it. I may not go out of my way to chose a big social event and I may leave early, but actually I don't need alcohol to help me talk to people or help me relax or any of that anymore. If anything, it was maybe masking some of that when I was drinking.