Alcoholic?

[heatherSd]

Posting here as I think this is the relevant place for it. I have been drinking a couple of glasses of wine most nights since my divorce, however , ex husband said my personality completely changes when I have had a drink and it really frightened me. I haven’t touched a drop now for 2 weeks and managed fine. Does this happen to anybody else and why does it happen to me? Is it the mood I am in when I’m drinking and the reason behind it?

Do you feel your personality changes? In what way? A couple of glasses of wine isn’t really blackout drunk so I’d be surprised if you didn’t notice a change of mood or behaviour.
You say your XH said this - what’s your relationship like when you are 100% sober?

I guess I just feel more relaxed and a bit unfiltered. I haven’t noticed anything significant myself to be honest but I don’t like the sound of it so stopped.

i read that changes in personality sounds like a problem so I suppose I was wondering if that was the case.

I still dislike him when I’m sober to be honest.

The language of alcoholic vs. normal drinker isn't really helpful. In my mind, being an alcoholic implies a significant physical and psychological dependency (which I had, but it sounds like you haven't). But you can drink in unhealthy ways without being dependent. It can have a damaging impact on your life without being dependent.

Your personality if you want to call it that certainly will change with even a drink or two. You might simply call it your behaviour. I think 'personality' implies something really fundamental about who you are. But when people drink and act differently, that's just the behavioural changes that come from alcohol consumption and its effect on the brain. When you aren't drinking, presumably you go back to 'normal'.

It's great that you are making some changes if you're worried about how it's affecting you though. I'd probably take with a grain of salt criticism from someone who you are ending a relationship with though.

I am approaching 3 years sober but one of the many reasons I stopped drinking was I did feel my personality had changed and I didn’t like it.