Reducing, not giving up

[nodrinkvillager]

Posting here for accountability, and would love to hear from others who have successfully reduced their drinking but not given up altogther.

I know I drink too much - I don't think I am an alcoholic, mainly because I can stop easily when I want to but I really enjoy drinking wine and have got to the point where I am drinking every day, sometimes only a glass but nevertheless it's still every day.

At the moment I don't even think I am enjoying it anymore, so I am giving up for a few weeks to see if I can just look forward to it as a 'treat' as it should be, with a meal out and not just sitting on the sofa of an evening, and in turn, I am hoping that my anxiety reduces and I start to sleep better. I also need to lose some weight, so it will help by not drinking my calories.

I have no real desire to go alcohol free altogether but this will test my resolve as I have quite a few social events over the next few weeks that would usually involve a couple glasses of wine. And I'd normally say 'oh I can't go dry now because I have to go to XYZ this week'. I shall also be driving to all events and then I won't be tempted as I have a strict ban on myself, and never even have half a glass of wine if I am driving.

Hi @nodrinkvillager I was where you are in October. I decided to give up for a few weeks and then have a few over Christmas/NY. After about 6 weeks of no drinking, I had no desire to drink and it's now been 5 months. I am not going to say that I'll never drink again but all of the benefits you mention (sleep, anxiety, weight) and more, have kicked in and I just can't find a good reason to drink right now.
I appreciate that I'm not the type of poster you want to hear from but wanted to wish you luck and I couldn't recommend a period of abstinence more - see where it takes you.

I think I have a drink problem as I say I will have 2 wine free nights per week but I don't even manage one! Stressful job and family issues really don't help me to give up. I don't think I ever will properly give up. But what i try and do is only buy 1 or 2 bottles a week and have a small glass only per night. I have told this to the doctor and they say it probably wouldn't cause any harm as it's drinking in moderation, although they advised to have 2 alcohol free days per week... this is what I have a problem with as my mind and body say right, it's wine o'clock!!

Look at my user name! I could be you, I drink and live in a village.

I’m trying to give up or reduce,I can’t decide which to do but at that moment I’m going cold Turkey and surviving on water which isn’t inspiring but I don’t know how to not drink and what to replace booze with??

I drink (drank) a bottle of wine every night and maybe a few beers too, I’m on day 2 , I did 10 days but I had a prepaid for social occasion on Saturday and ordered my drinks in advance so gave in and drank them

I hope you go on ok, I’ll regularly update if you fancy a booze free buddy and we can all support each other

I think absolutely give it a go. Though I'd recommend not necessarily stopping at a month, just see how you get on having a break and then give some thought to circumstances when you would want to drink in the future.

I think it's a really useful exercise to have a break and then go back to drinking with the plan that you'll stick to your moderation plan. Does it work? How do you feel drinking again after that time off?

I did do this. I took 6 weeks off completely and then I went back to drinking with the plan to drink more sensibly. I had also been a near daily drinker (maybe 1-2 days off on a good week). Spoiler: it didn't work. I did drink more sensibly for the first week or two, but then I was back to drinking several bottles of wine a day every day.

It was a really good experience though. It was helpful to see what worked and what didn't. But it also helped me realise that it was a lot easier to not drink than to drink sometimes and only a little. I gave up completely after about 2 months back to drinking and I've been alcohol free for nearly a year now.

Definitely do it. I think moderation can be a really good learning experience. If it works, and it works long-term, great. If it doesn't, go in with a plan for what you'll do next.

Jumping on the bandwagon. I had my first sober weekend since a couple of weeks after I gave birth to my three year old last weekend. If I'm completely honest I found it boring and it's hard not to clock watch when it gets to wine o clock but I did feel so much better the next day

I have drank wine every evening for years, after Christmas (I like the op) got bored of dinking night after night, experiencing patchy sleep, and bad heartburn due to drinking 2/3 glasses of wine.

I believe I was doing this out of habit, as soon as I was home from work, I would open the fridge and down my first glass- the first glass always tasted the best.

I now have a soft drink that lasts majority of the evening.

Thanks everyone, sorry didn't mean to post and run! Busy day. I've managed to get past wine'o'clock for the past two days and haven't actually even wanted it. There was a half full bottle of wine which I have relegated to cooking wine and normally I'd be all "Oh might as well finish the bottle".

@MissSmith80 So pleased to hear that you are reaping the benefits now - I really want to improve sleep and anxiety. The 3am wakings with raging anxiety are getting worse.

@BooseysMom That's like me too, I say I won't drink but come 6pm I am reaching for a glass. I don't need it, I want it, and I think that's the difference at the moment but I don't want to get to the point where I need it.

@Ineedwinenow I've switched to drinking squash, not very exciting but I bought a nice Robinsons rhubarb one and also the occasional San Pellegrino fizzy orange. But I end up just drinking more tea, which I think interrupts my sleep more as I keep needing to wee!

@mindutopia I'm open to how long I go for, I've said a couple of weeks as we're going away for the weekend and I kind of just want to chill and enjoy a glass of wine while we are away but intend to just hop back onto not drinking again afterwards. Like I say, I don't want to give up, just get out of the habit of every day or routine drinking and 'save' it for weekends away, going out with friends etc which aren't that often.

@Lostsoul123 I know what you mean, I do find it boring going to the pub or out with friends and not drinking so I tend to say no to going - trying to get out of that mindset now.

@doitwithlove It's definitely habit. I don't think I have a drinking problem as in I am not an alcoholic, but it's unhealthy as I sleep bad, I am tired, I am overweight, I feel bloated and I need to make a change.

I don't think labels help - if alcohol is a problem for you for whatever reason - only you know, you'd be better off fixing it.

The motivation hit me this year, I did Dry Jan and enjoyed the relief from anxiety and insomnia and after decades of drinking way too much I am finally moderating successfully. The time was just right. Most weeks I have 5 nights off excepting mid-week socialising, when I do drink it's less than 6 units. I don't want to give up drinking, I really enjoy it - I just need to approach things a little differently.

I am finally moderating well I think. I did dry January and since then I’ve not been drinking at home, only when out and even then I’ve not been drunk. I’m noticing I’m thinking less about it too, the first few Friday nights I thought a lot about how I’m not drinking and wanted one tbh, I think I’ve finally broken the habit.

I tried moderating but always ended up going back to drinking the same as before/drinking more.
I didn’t think I wanted to give up entirely but actually I’ve now been alcohol free for 15 months and now I don’t want to drink any more. I feel so much better/happier/thinner/younger/healthier! Good luck with moderating but you may actually prefer ditching the booze entirely.

Listen to the podcast called '90 Days Later'. Lots of pragmatic non-judgemental advice about moderating.

Just a word of warning - hanging out on "sober" forums can be quite disheartening for the moderator because you'll be told again and again how moderating doesn't work and what you need to do is give up entirely. I don't know why people feel the need to tell you that you'll fail before you even try but they will again and again.

@Waitingforgeorge so true (unfortunately).

Thanks all, and will take that on board @Waitingforgeorge.

I fancied a glass of wine on Friday but I went for a walk and by the time I was home I wasn't really bothered anymore. Went out for lunch with friends on Saturday and that would normally be boozy but I drove instead.

Then yesterday, had two large glasses of wine yesterday in the sunshine which was very pleasant but I barely slept a wink last night which is very off-putting! One of the biggest reasons for wanting to reduce was to improve my sleep and I noticed a marked improvement last week (as did my Fitbit sleep score) so when I had some wine last night, it was really clear that it was messing my sleep up, and I felt rough enough that it's clear that not drinking through the week is the right way for me because with the bad sleep I am so tired and unmotivated the next day. That's fine every now and again on a weekend (though I hate the restlessness and anxiety) but I don't want that to be my perpetual state and it's only really through reducing and moderating I am realising the effect it has.

I decided to cut back on the 5th March and I’ve had 3 social occasions where I drank, I wanted to drink, I don’t regret it but like you sleep was an issue.

I’m not drinking everyday like I was before but I can’t stop thinking about alcohol, it’s all I think about as I’m not having hardly any, my husband commented that all I talk about now in relation to food/ drink/meals is alcohol, he’s an amazing support to me whilst I figure this out and as he’s teetotal he’s not pressuring me at all to drink but he just says if you miss it have a beer or a wine because all you talk about is drink and it’s getting annoying and to be honest I’m annoying myself, I feel like as I can’t have any I need to talk about it and think about it constantly

I think you will tend to think about it a lot to begin with. Your sub conscious is not convinced you’re going to follow through with this. You’ll think about it less as time goes on. Initially I relied heavily on AF subs - they helped me so much - they provided a release. I also had a lot of baths with some really nice essential oils and that also helped to relax and take me through the cravings - I know my rules and my sub conscious no longer expects me to drink through the week, so no cravings but it takes a little time like with any habit.