Mother's Day Struggle

[ArgueWithATree]

Trying not to have a pity party but it's hard.

Wrote a massive post explaining why I feel so fed up and why I just want to down the two bottles of wine in my fridge. Can't really unpick whether I'm justified feeling like this or just looking for a reason.

Does it even matter? Probably not as I know the wine doesn't make it any better but god I just feel so lonely and worthless.

Spent the whole morning cleaning my depression pit of a house and there's still a huge amount to do. I just want to run away tbh!

Not a huge amount of point to this post. Just feeling sorry for myself I think

If you're trying to stop drinking, it's daft to have wine in the fridge. Pour it down the drain and go for a walk.

Hi @ArgueWithATree it sounds like you are going through a rough time. Is mothers day a particularly hard day for you? It sounds like you have achieved a lot today already so, you should congratulate yourself on that rather than talking negatively.
As for the wine, do you think you have a problem with alcohol or do you just want a break?

I don't disagree. But I know if it wasn't there there would be a corner shop filled with bottles at the end of my road. Seems silly to pour it away and then buy two new bottles.

This year, yes.

My mum and I have been having a rough time lately. So feel particularly down and DP is working today so spent the day just cleaning the house while DD8 messes it all up again. It's a bit of a state because I've been in and out of hospital and working FT. Quite overwhelmed, if I'm honest.

Deffo a problem with alcohol I've been trying and failing to overcome for a while. I feel like I take one step forward and two back.

Attempting to quit/reduce alcohol is hard. I have been backwards and forwards with it too.

I have decided it does me no favours, and after a lot of false starts have given up completely 7 weeks ago. I now feel more able to deal with my stress.

I am sorry you have been in hospital, it sounds like now would be a great time to address your drinking.
There is lots of support on the alcohol thread.

If you've struggled with it, it's much easier to stop completely than to try to moderate your intake. Just go without for a day, then another day, etc.

I am 9 weeks sober. It is now clear to me that I cannot moderate or return to drinking. My mental health has dramatically improved. Those moments of blackness, despair and irritability which made me drink are now far less. I now realize that i was always in alcohol withdrawal and this hugely contributed to low mood.

I'm so happy for everyone who has found a better life after quitting.

I can't seem to make it a week at the moment and I know all of these things intrinsically but the urge to escape overwhelms me sometimes.

I have not had a drink so far today. Cleaned the house and had a nice Sunday dinner. DD is showered and ready for bed.

I know the urge doesn't last very long but when everything feels too much I find it so difficult to resist. I know I can't moderate. At all. Yet still I talk myself into it after a bad day. And I know sometimes I'll create a problem just to give me an excuse.

It's not who I want to be at all.

OP, do you have any peer support, or are you trying to do this alone? It can really make all the difference. I'll be 30 years sober at the end of the month, and I could not have done it without the company and support of others who had faced the same challenges. Their experience, strength, and hope got me over the hill. Just talking to people who got rid of alcohol and live perfectly happy lives without it was so empowering.

I know it's hard, but have you considered AA? They have meetings online if you don't want to or can't attend in person.

Despite you making excuses it's better not to have wine in your fridge. Stop making excuses and get in contact with the AA. I'm afraid I had to suffer an alcoholic father growing up and I have little tolerance for the 'pity me' saga. Take some responsibility. You have a daughter!

I know, my mum is an alcoholic too. So I understand exactly what it's like.

I think it's time now I did engage with something like AA. It's clear I can't do it alone.

I feel so ashamed of myself. My mums an alcoholic so I'm all too familiar with the destruction it causes. I've witnessed it all first hand.

I feel so worthless.

I understand how you feel, but there's really no reason to. I met some of the loveliest people in AA, and that made me feel better about myself. It's not a moral failing. Some people find drinking addictive. It's biochemical, not personal.

After I quit, I met my DH, got married, and raised two great kids who are now successfully adulting and have a good career. I don't feel worthless and neither should you.

Molecular Basis of Alcoholism