Have any of you just stopped drinking ...

[blackouttint]

Without support ?
I like wine. I drink approximately 3-4 bottles per week. I enjoy it but recognise that it's a habit now and takes me away from my thoughts post trauma.
My child hates it. She told me last night so I've decided to stop drinking at home. I riddled with guilt and self loathing this morning but I'm not going to over think this.
I've begun counselling for my trauma, I've lost weight and am exercising regularly for first time in years so I'm in a path of rediscovery and health. Getting rid of home drinking will be my next goal to revive my life.
Has anyone done this?
I'm ok to not ruminate and want to begin from this moment .
Can you advise please?

You're already doing so well, I applaud you! 👏 It's so good that you've recognised the need for counselling - that is a huge step forward. And you clearly have the will to get better and make more of your life. So it's time to let go of the guilt and self-loathing - we both know that alcohol induces that chemically the next morning, but one thing I've learned is that you can't hate yourself sober! 😄

What works for me is to be kind to myself first, because if I attack myself, I go into panic mode, awash with cortisol, and can't do anything good... and believe me, it has been a lifelong lesson that I'm still working on!

So that's all my 'advice' for now, but mostly I wanted to come and support you and give you loud cheers for the excellent decision you're making! 😃

Thank you so much for those lovely words.
Weirdly I don't think I'll find it hugely difficult but at a certain time on a certain evening, it has become a habit. I love to sit and relax with wine while watching tv or reading. I'm just wondering how to break that habit. I guess summer is only around the corner so an extra walk could work . I have no personal time whatsoever. My child is constantly with me so I crave that solitude . Wine was a lovely escape .

Anyone else experience this???

Yes, I just stopped. It's called spontaneous sobriety. It's a thing.

To be fair, I had been considering giving up for about 2 years - they call this being 'sober curious' but I sort of hate that term, too twee!

So I did know that I would one day need to either stop or I was going to drink myself to death. I was drinking a lot more than 3-4 bottles of wine a week. So I had it in my mind that I would need to stop at some point in the future.

And then there was finally a day where I was like, enough. I'm done with this. I knew it was my last day. So I drank all the wine in the house and went to bed and that was it.

I haven't had a drink since and that was nearly a year ago now.

I did meet people online and I joined an online support community (Bee Sober), but I didn't have any formal support, like AA or via the GP.

What helped was to fill those hours when I would have been drinking with something else to make a new habit. So I started to drink an AF drink every night while making dinner - I never drank beer when I was drinking, but I really enjoy AF beers now. Or I'd have a kombucha or a tonic with some nice garnishes. Basically, just something to have in my hand. And I listened to sober podcasts while making dinner. I also started to exercise more - lots of walking, hiking, swimming. So I pretty much replaced a habit I didn't want anymore with a new habit (having a healthy drink at the same time of day) and then I got a daily boost of encouragement from a podcast.

I did!

Got interested in nutrition/healthy eating during lockdown. Realised what a waste of calories drinking was.

Also realised that I was drinking over the guideline limits and being totally honest with myself, did not have a healthy relationship with alcohol. I only drank at home at weekends, but would be looking forward to Friday evening from Thursday…..

Come lockdown, it crept up to drinking most evenings. Very small glasses, but starting at 6 cooking the tea and still having a glass on the go at 9. Like you, on 2/3/4 bottles a week.

My parents did not have a good relationship with alcohol; they would both drink every day and feel deprived if they couldn’t. My dad is now very definitely drinking far too much and would not be able to give up easily. I didn’t want to get any further down that path which was definitely where I was headed.

Surprisingly, I didn’t find it too hard. Cut down to just Friday nights, then just one glass and then one week just…stopped. Didn’t really miss it at all which surprised me!

Slimline tonic with ice was nice as an alternative initially, but don’t even bother with that any more.

The upside was losing weight effortlessly, sleeping better and insanely clear skin. It’s bonkers how much clearer my skin is compared to my peers who drink daily.

Have not drunk any alcohol in three years. For me, I think having a glass or two on occasion will be a slippery slope back into old habits and I’ve no desire to drink anyway, it just doesn’t feature in my thoughts any more. It is more the social pressure that you can suffer as a non-drinker on a night out.

Maybe one day I’ll drink again, but for now very happy being teetotal. It still baffles my dad utterly!

If you are on a bit of a health journey at the moment, it is the perfect time to try. I’ll bet you’re already feeling better with the exercise and this will really help to boost that. See it as doing something good for your body, good for your daughter and you will definitely see improvements in skin/sleep/anxiety really quickly.

Well done!

Yes, in the first throes of this now. LONG Long time alcoholic after my dad died, step dad died, baby died, fiance cheated multiple times, severely alcoholic mother etc, bar the years I went teetotal when pregnant/breastfeeding. Alcohol was my escape - I grew up having to be the parent to my alcoholic mum, so learned to surpress all feelings as she would cry and wail at the drop of the hat. When dad died when I was a teen, I had no feelings - nothing. But one night bought my first bottle of wine and....it helped me cry, for the first time in months. After that, I just kept drinking to help have feelings.

It became that wonderful, blissful escape. I LOVE drinking - I love the feeling as it starts to work. But I drank more, and more and more, and just wanted to escape life by being drunk all the time.

Minimum a bottle wine a night, often one and a half and at worst 2, 3, or at least half a whole bottle spirits (vodka, gin, rum etc). Vomiting, exhaustion, severe depression. Grew fat as fuck, severely depressed.

I'm petrified of alcohol, I can't even have it in the house as I WILL drink it all, I can't be trusted. I've replaced it with strong CBD tea, which though it takes a couple hours to take effect it slowly seeps in about 2 hours after a pot of tea, helps me sleep amazingly deeply. I've also kept the house stocked with food treats, and I nibble on cheese, favourite nibbles etc but FUCK it's so hard, I love alcohol so, so much but I hated myself on it, loathed myself, I got fat, my kids were upset, my dh noticed and I almost, almost lost everything.

It's been almost a year since I stopped the couple bottle wine a night. No more passing out, no more vomiting. I still drank but have now stopped cold turkey when it's just me in the house - I can't do this to my kids. When dh is here I use only a tiny glass for wine/beer. But I cannot ever buy it in again on my own.

Yeah I just stopped drinking 3 years ago. New Year’s Day. I was drinking A LOT and I wanted to set a better example for my adult sons and my grandaughter. I used to drink lager so I bought alcohol free lager - that way I could still join in with the habit without the actual alcohol.

I don’t miss it.

I should add I also have an absolute wealth of things I love doing in my own time in the house as I'm a happy introvert, so have made sure to fill my hours with all the things I love doing to help distract myself from wanting to just sit on the sofa and drink and watch youtube etc. Life is so, SO much better now with that fucking demon Alcohol shoving it;s way down me every night.

I did. I don't even drink on a night out now, and rarely miss it. I did have wine at a funeral recently but the first glass went straight to my head and so I stopped until dinner time when I had more . But you know , tomorrow is another day, etc. I am lucky though that I have a DH and dch who don't really drink - tea is our drink at home. So, do you have people around you who are supportive? That's the first thing. Second is to change your routine so that you occupy yourself with something different when you'd otherwise have a glass on the go. I found giving up smoking a thousand times harder, and changing my routine and putting it off, minute by minute, was how I eventually did it. It's much harder to give up (both drinking and smoking) if you're in a place/situation where you'd normally do it. I wouldn't have the willpower to not smoke if I'd been drinking and someone gave me a ciggy, so there you go - I know what not to do! Good luck.

Almost a year ago I stopped drinking completely. I'd had one hangover too many and I realised that was impacting on my children.

I don't do moderation so I stopped drinking all together. It's the best decision I have ever made and I don't miss it at all. I'll have some non alcoholic beer sometimes. I was worried about not enjoying nights out but turns out it's more fun when you're not drinking focussed on getting that next drink.

Yes me. Although I was only an occasional binge drinker but my behaviour wasn't great plus the hangxiety and regret was bringing me down so I stopped

I stopped drinking 2015 after years of weekend black out binge drinking. Apart from a champagne toast at a wedding in 2018 I haven't drunk since.
I think situation has a lot to do with it... my then husband didnt drink so I wasn't with someone who wanted to drink, and then I was pregnant, had a newborn baby etc so my lifestyle changed and I wasn't clubbing anymore or socialising in alcohol related settings...

I personally think that if you want to stop you stop fully, i don't think drinking in moderation works when you know you are relying on it. Don't buy it for the house.

And also - be prepared to bat away people around you who will encourage you to drink. People who are drinking like to be surrounded by other people who are drinking so just be prepared for the 'go on, just one...'etc...

You can definitely do it! ❤

Well done. I also stopped on Monday... honestly I was drinking a lot more. I have previously stopped for a number of years and thought I could have one but of course it escalated. A few years later and two stone heavier I am determined to stop now.

I am listening to the audio book mummy was a secret drinker, which is helping me keep focused. What helper me before, and I will use again this time is don't think too far ahead. Just today. Don't worry about the summer. Plan for todays triggers.

Best of luck to you.

ThaNk you !
I am determined now.
Because it coincides with a healthier lifestyle change and counselling g it is a natural next step.
I'm not going to beat myself up over this. My child saying they hated when I drink os enough. She has been through enough already. I am
Fiercely private so won't discuss with anyone outside of counsellor but my kids live with me so I have more than enough reason not to drink at home as no one else is.
I dont want my child's memories of me being ones where I was drunk and she being stressed. She has awful anxiety as it is .

Me. Drinking similar amount to you for many many years. Went to GP with nasty abdo/back pain, which turned out to be gallstones. At the same time a ton of blood tests, plus ultrasound incidentally showed I have a fatty liver. Luckily consultant thinks the damage can still be reversed. So I’ve stopped completely. Not even ‘alcohol-free’ (per consultant advice). Coincidentally, I had cut out weekday drinking a couple of weeks before the gallstone attack. It’s been a big wake-up call for me. To be honest, I knew I drank too much and it probably wasn’t doing me any good, but I never even got tipsy (don’t like the feeling) and v v rarely hungover so I buried my head in the sand

For now, I’ve given it up completely, although I hope in time to be able to return to drinking on high days and holidays. I really haven’t found it hard at all, despite DH still drinking, Like you, it was a habit rather than an addiction. The main problem now is finding something else to drink that isn’t too gassy or too sweet, as I think lime and soda could get boring quite quickly (even though white wine never did!).

I could do to lose a few pounds (stone), so hopefully this will help!

I stopped drinking completely and suddenly when I met my dh about 15 years ago. I’d always been a heavy drinker. My Mum and Gran were alcoholics, so it was definitely in my family and I spent my younger years working in bars and nightclubs so it just became “normal” for me - until I met my teetotal dh and I decided I didn’t want to be that person anymore. Literally stopped overnight and haven’t drank since. Initially I found I needed to do things to break the habit of having a drink, to find new routines but gradually it’s just become a new normal. You can do this. As a child of an alcoholic I can say your dd will thank you for it.

@YouJustDoYou Where do you get this CBD tea please? I am trying to stop drinking. Gradually cut down in the past 2 years from over 100 units a week, now at 25-30. I find that I really have trouble sleeping, i think I'd stop completely easier if I could sleep! and CBD tea sounds like it could help.

how are you doing op?

I help people with this and what you describe is so incredibly normal. Which is great news because there is a simple solution.

I would start with wine being your escape and craving solitude. A very normal human desire. What upside is alcohol bringing to your life? What feeling is it creating for you? That's the place to start - recognising this then seeing there are other ways to get emotional support/enjoyment without alcohol.

DM me if you want to chat about what it would take for you to drink in the way you want.

Me. 10 weeks ago. I had a health scare unrelated to drinking but decided to stop because I didn't want to add alcohol into me when feeling unwell. Drank 5 days out of 7 - probably a half or 3/4 wine. Had the health all clear and still not drinking. I don't drink no alcohol dupes - just water or juice or diet coke. Tea/coffee.

I don't miss it. The excess of it was repulsive to me. I hated that I had become a middle aged lush. I hate this fucked up attitude to alcohol we have in this country. I hot sucked in, but hopefully I have extracted myself.

Skin is clear, sinus issues have cleared up, I sleep better, I have lost 7 pounds. My bank balance is better.

At this point I can't see me restarting. Zero urge. If you had told me this at Xmas I would have laughed my head off.

My husband is a heavy drinker. I think it is going to become an issue between us but that is for another thread.

Yes, I did. Over 2.5 years sober now.

have read quit lit and used social media, podcasts etc. But no detox /AA etc

drank more than you and half arsed attempts at moderation a number of times and then finally realised about 3 months before I did stop that I was going to have to

Have you read Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp I would really recommend it I think you'd relate. I found it such a relief when I first stopped drinking that someone felt how I did about alcohol

*I did!

Got interested in nutrition/healthy eating during lockdown. Realised what a waste of calories drinking was*

Pretty much what I did. I had more time to cook and eat healthily, plus I wanted to lose weight and I'm in my late 60s - did I want a healthy old age or one with an alcohol problem (which I could easily have had, I recognise too much of my mother in me and she was a functioning alcoholic in her 70s). Plus the cost wwhen you're not earning; and then I did dry January this year and cut down on sugar and that seems to have flicked a final switch.

I still have a drink, I haven't given up completely; but it's a beer or a couple of glasses of wine. Not the bottle a night habit I used to have.

Hi, I have just joined, yes I had to stop drinking, I am now 3 weeks sober, it's not easy and a daily struggle for me, but the benefits are great. Like you I drank at home and if im being honest i drank 6 or 7 bottles over 4 days sometimes more and i had started drinking first thing in the morning, I'm now getting professional help to deal with my past, I wish you well

hi @blackouttint how are you getting on? Been thinking of you!