Husbands drinking

[3tumsnot1]

My husband is out of control with his drinking. We have been together for 20 years. He was sober for a year but now hits the bottle all the time, but hides it. He lies to my face all
the time, even when I find bottles he says he’s not been drinking.

i literally don’t know what to do anymore. He’s a complete arsehole when he’s been drinking because he’s so angry and out of control. He’s never hurt me or the kids, but he does try and leave sometimes in an angry rage - I know he’ll just go to a bar and drink himself stupid. Or sleep in a park and freeze to death. I am scared if I Chuck him out he’ll drink himself to death. We have 3 kids who adore him, youngest is 7. I don’t want this to ruin their lives.

I can’t believe we are here again.

i feel completely and utterly fucked. I work full time and have a difficult job. I can’t look after him and watch him every day. He works too. How can I make him stop? He refuses to go to AA, sobers up for a couple of days, tells me it will be different and then I find empty bottles of vodka or wine all through the house.

he’s grumpy lots of the time and doesn’t cope with life, he’s on antidepressants already. He tried counselling but that just made him worse. I don’t want him hurt. If he stays he’ll drink himself to death if he goes he’ll do the same thing. I don’t know what to do. Occasionally he’s himself and I still love him - but that person is disappearing…

I grew up with a parent who is an alcoholic. Please don't let your children go through that. It is awful. I can tell from one look whether they've had a drink. In my immediate family a sibling died from alcohol in their 30s, my step parent a horrible alcohol related death in their 70s and my parent has Korsakoffs.

If he's going to quit it's go to come from him but until then he shouldn't be living with the children. Him being an alcoholic will ruin their lives, not you protecting them by throwing him out.

I left my husband who was an alcoholic. No children involved luckily but I let things get so bad before I left that my biggest regret was not going earlier.

A good day in my house was coming home to find him passed out as that meant no arguments.
Drinking and awake was something else.

Easy for me to say but you are important too. I felt like a shadow of myself by the time I left. All the lying, rows, hopes and promises to stop but living in a hostile environment. It's so way to live.

If he does drink himself to death that's on him not you. Separating could give him the shock to change.

As someone who grew up with an alcoholic in the house (not a violent one) don’t necessarily assume it is better for your kids to stay around him. It s a tough decision but look up co dependency and it might shock you to see the price this exerts on you too. You can’t do this for him he has to want it for himself. I hope everything works out for you

Richard Burton talks about drink.

It is ok to love until you aren’t able to anymore.

I grew up with an alcoholic Father who clearly loved the bottle more than my Brother and I. Please, please don’t let your children go through that.

sending you nothing but love x

Unless he wants to give up it won't get better.
You know what you need to do.