What to say when meeting new friends?

[Bing4859]

I think I’m probably on the path to stopping drinking entirely, although for the time being I’m taking it one day at a time and seeing how I go. What I’d like to know is how people deal with meeting new people? I know my existing friends will be very supportive, but my kid has just started a new school and I’ve been invited to drinks with a couple of the other mums who I know enjoy the wine (as do I usually!) I don’t want them to see me as boring or write me off before they’ve even got to know me, and I know that obviously if they’re nice people I know they won’t… but I also know that lots of people see those who won’t join in on a bottle with them as ‘boring’. Just wondering whether anyone has any tips on how to navigate really. Thanks in advance!

You can say you’re intolerant, it gives you an upset stomach/rosacea/rash/psoriosis (all things that alcohol can cause/worsen).
That is harder to argue with than ‘I’m detoxing’.
But you can also just be honest. People are far more tolerant of alcohol free days than they used to be.
Good luck!

"sounds lovely, I don't drink so I'll bring some tonic water / squash / etc"

Can't you just be your fun self and ask for a diet coke. Say No thanks I don't like wine/spirits etc. I'd try and avoid giving details about why you don't drink.

I don't drink - I don't like the taste and don't like hangovers of any description. Have to say 99 people out of 100 do not comment on it. I think some people feel like it is weird personally if they don't drink and then assume people are thinking the same thing and so make it into a bigger deal or talk about it when others generally aren't that interested. Try just not talking about it and see how it goes. Be strong!

Thank you so so much for these ideas, when you write it out it actually seems very simple to just say I’m not keen!

The most fun, popular, life-of-the-party person I know doesn't drink. She just doesn't like the taste of alcohol or the feeling of being drunk. I don't doubt she's come across people who've made comments but she's a very confident lady, so I'm sure she deals with it fine.

I also think that the type of people who would write you off because you don't drink are not people you want to be friends with anyway, so no loss really

My oldest friend is a recovering alcoholic.
She just says “I don’t drink.” She never apologises, or makes excuses or anything. Her reasoning is that people can either respect her choices or reject her choices, but she still isn’t going to drink.
She struggled for decades and I’m very proud of her — I tend to not drink when I’m with her as I certainly can do without it for one evening.
It isn’t your job to explain to anybody why you aren’t drinking - is it?
Or just say, I’ll have a Coke - or take along whatever non-alcoholic beverage you’d like. For those Nosy Nellies who question you, just say “I don’t drink” over & over again ad nauseam.
And you deserve big congratulations.

Completely agree, not anyone else's business.
In my day people used to assume it was because you were pregnant, but I think things have moved on for the better, and many don't drink now for loads of reasons including "doesn't really agree with me". Have a good night out, it is harder with old friends that knew you as a drinker, but with new friends, no problem, many of them will be doing likewise I suspect for many reasons. xx

If they invite you for drinks, just go, bring your own AF drinks/bottle of something, and get stuck in. I am fortunate - if you'd call it that - that I have health issues that mean I shouldn't drink, even though the reason I don't drink is because I had a drinking problem. I say I can't drink for health reasons and leave it at that with people I don't know well enough. Honestly, no one has cared one bit. I make sure I order my own drinks or I bring my own when coming to someone's house, and I check any drink I'm given and will refuse it or give it away if I'm not sure about it.

This is what is wrong with society . No one has to explain to people why they do drink but they have to explain why they don’t .

I am day 12 if not drinking and plan to never again - I have absolutely no issue with drink , I can take it or leave it. I enjoy a glass of wine but my husband is an alcoholic and he is on day 12 , on a recovery programme and attending meetings . I’m just doing it to support him and tbf I very regulary have a day 30 or whatever as I just don’t drink much . We haven’t been in a situation yet where we have had to explain as we are staying away from any triggers , he doesn’t believe he would be able to go into a pub or socialise with friends we used to drink with again as it’s all centred around drinking . But , if such a situation arises we are just saying we don’t want to anymore and decided to live a sober life .