I've really messed up. Mood in the pits

[Sillymummies123]

Started drinking November for Christmas, did a few posts on here about how I was done with that, had learned my lesson, and here I am having had 5 beers last night.

I'm on antidepressants, a real mess and struggling to cope with my children and only myself to blame.

I am ranting because I am sad.

@Sillymummies123 - 💐. I don’t need to tell you that drinking will only make you feel more depressed and anxious as you will be well aware of that.

The trick is trying to fill the hours that booze does - and let’s face it, the buzz feels good at the time.

I am more of a binge drinker and hate the way drinking makes me feel after drinking- but it feels great at the time.

I am trying to get a “buzz” from the feeling of not drinking by really focusing on just how great I feel when sober. Really sitting and being conscious of feeling good. But it is hard - so I get it x

Don't beat yourself up- it doesn't help 😁

Lots of water, good dinner and early night if you can. And be kind to yourself. Tomorrow is a new day- I know it's trite but it's true.

Hi there. Feel for you. In my view, the trick is to replace the booze with another drink - (non alcoholic of course). Apple juice and soda works for me or diet coke. And drink lots of water to cleanse your system.

Good luck :-)

You can’t hate yourself into a better version of yourself.

what are your reasons for giving up drinking? Focus on those and get back on the horse.

It's not a linear process. Very few people just decide one day they are going to quit drinking and they stop there and then. You're on your way. Every time you stop, you are learning something, and every time you drink again, you're learning something too. Just before I quit, I stopped for about 7 weeks, and then went back to drinking. I learned that I could quit just fine, and I learned that starting up again didn't serve me at all. I felt awful and miserable and I was spending money I shouldn't have been. It was actually a really valuable glimpse into the life I was signing up for if I went back to drinking. And helped me decide I didn't want that shit anymore.

You did give up and that's fab. It means you can pick that up and get right back to where you were after a bit of a blip.

Could I have some advice please. Just generally what works. Here's the context -

• whenever I stop for a few days, I just get tremendously attracted to alcohol. As a person, I have no ability to delay gratification, and so if I want something I usually go for it. This is useful in areas such as my career, but not useful in my weight or with alcohol.

• I'm awaiting an ADHD diagnosis, and I would be surprised if I don't have it, reflecting on my brain, life, childhood and current struggles. As such, I find my job stressful due to the need for social interaction, loud noises, constant demands, and meetings. I can handle it, but I come home "wound up" - and this wind up is relieved by alcohol (i know in the long term this exacerbates it).

• I Have a violently autistic son, and I feel extreme anxiety being in his presence, so after a long day, I remain in a stressful situation, and so practically find unwinding difficult.

• I quit for 4 months last year, but that took a lot of will power. Said will power added to the exhaustion and misery, and meant that I would be chronically stressed. I could try again but I'm genuinely scared ofnthe impact that untethered stress would have on my mental wellbeing without the alcohol reset (again, I'm aware that addiction plays a part in the stress, but I had a clean 4 months and still struggled toward the end of that, stress wise).

Please could you give me any advice that you think might be useful for someone to actually quit in the smoothest way possible- coping strategies for the environment I describe etc. Tbh I suspect that getting medicated for the ADHD (if I am right that i have it) is probably a big part of the missing piece but that, realistically, will take years through diagnosis to treatment.