Moderation, here I come..

[laughingheart]

Just finished up day four of no wine. Tomorrow is day 5 and the longest I've gone without drinking in 2 years since I had my youngest.

I have had a bottle of wine, sometimes more, 6 days a week for around 8 years, pregnancies aside.

I am terrified that I may have caused damage to my liver and desperate to be able to be a "normal drinker." I'm so envious of friends and colleagues that can just drink at the weekend and stop at a glass or two. I'm aiming to get there!

Anyway, first four days have been tolerable, I guess. I feel uninterested and uninteresting and listless but physically the same as I always do.

Looking forward to reading some more stories on here and feeling less alone.

I have a tentative reduction plan where I'll drink 3 nights a week (so 3 bottles Thursday Friday and Saturday) and then reduce that to half a bottle Thursday, and so on and so on. The thought of stopping completely fills me with fear, I'm afraid. Maybe my resilience will grow.

Reading Bukowski and reminded myself of this nugget.

“That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen."

You've got this! 💪

Have you read any quit lit? That's helped me to cut down and now im taking a break.

Brilliant!! Well done! You'll probably find you feel loads better in time too. Keep going! -Can you make yourself some kind of reward chart?? ( no, not with wine as the reward 😄 maybe a treat for yourself....)

Thank you! No quit lit per say.. I have dabbled with Annie Grace but didn't resonate with me very much. Following some reddit pages and the support on here as well though!

Have been keeping track of what I'm saving to put towards some nice bits at the end of the month! Thanks for the support x

I always say this, but do consider doing an AF weekend once or twice a month, so no wine at all Thursday/Friday/Saturday. (a) it will reduce your overall consumption because you won't move those bottles to other days in the week, but (b) it means you get to really enjoy the benefits of not drinking.

So often when people attempt to moderate, they just don't drink part of the week, but drink at the weekends and still feel just as rubbish on those weekend days. The amazing thing about not drinking though is how great you feel - refreshed, good sleep, no hangover, no anxiety, no dodgy tummy, no bad skin the day after. We think this should be for the work week, but don't treat our lovely weekend time to ourselves with the same care.

I don't drink at all now and one of the best things about that has been how it's given me back my weekends. I get lots of sleep, I have lots of time to do things I enjoy because I'm not spending it drinking or stuck at home because I can't drive anywhere in the evening, I have such nice relaxing mornings. I do out and actually do things - take a class, go to the cinema with my kids, etc. - in the evenings. It's the best part of my week.

Good luck with moderating - unfortunately I tried and couldn’t. I’ve been AF for 13 months now and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I didn’t think I could enjoy life without wine but in fact it’s way, way more enjoyable! Giving up completely l, whilst sounding more scary than moderating, is actually easier in my opinion. Good luck.

I appreciate all of your advice. I've come back to read it several times. I've had 3 bottles of wine over the last 3 nights.

Am I kidding myself that 3 bottles is better than 6/7 a week? I mean, I know it's better but it's not fixing the issue is it. On the days I've not drunk this week I think about it all the time. Maybe because it's week 1.. Do those 4 alcohol free nights mean anything if I'm thinking about it all the time? It's not coming easy..

The trouble with moderating is that you are always thinking about it. Every day you have to make a decision whether to drink and if so, how much. I don’t ever have to ever think about it or make a decision again - that’s soo much easier! I feel so much better, happier and healthier.
maybe try reading The unexpected joy of being sober and/or The sober diaries - I found them very helpful. Also Alcohol Explained.

You're doing great! Message me if you need to but your doing brilliantly x

You're doing great but I think you need to stop completely.. moderation won't work

I'd recommend the Try Dry app - its free and had a calendar to complete each day with how it's going.

It's got loads of great advice but isn't judgy / preachy and helps you to take one day at a time.

Good luck Op - you've got this!

*has a calendar

Hi you are doing brilliantly. I am in a similar position to you, drinking every night and want to cut down or stop.
How are you sleeping laughing heart?

I am at this place too. Two bottles a night every day for last year at least. I'm on various medications for anxiety and I can't carry on. But I'm too scared to stop cold as you say.

Yep im the same, meds for anxiety.

Hello all, so a few weeks in now with "moderating..". This week was way easier. I had a drink last Saturday night and went Sunday, Monday, Tuesday with no issue at all. Wednesday I think I started anticipating the Thursday night wine so was a little trickier but only fleeting cravings and easily thwarted with some tonic water.

Jolly well done!

Well done!

I recommend The Easy Way to Control Alcohol by Allen Carr.

I have downloaded it to my kindle app on my phone so can dip in and out of it whenever I want.

To those on anxiety medication. Is it possibly actually the alcohol making you anxious?

I have not drunk alcohol since NYE and the awful anxiety I was experiencing has pretty much gone. Feel much more in control of my life and able to cope with things. Sleeping better and much much happier. The desire to drink alcohol is almost non existent as I feel SO much better. I don’t want to feel that shit again. I thought I was drinking to make myself happy but it was the alcohol making me sad.

Well done, you are doing great.

I am a year into moderation and finding I mostly don't think about it now. I used the drink aware app and set a target number of drink free days each week. Once I have set them I generally forget about it until a drink day.

The other thing of using drinkaware was that it made me realise exactly how much I did drink!