I've sought advice about my alcoholic mother on MN many times over the years and most people suggested walking away as she was dragging me down with her. I tried everything 10x over to support her into sobriety.
After being found in her squalid flat in a bad way she was admitted to hospital and underwent a medical detox. She stayed sober for 5-6 months until tests showed that her liver function was improving and then she went straight back to drinking full time.
It was then I decided to walk away as I refused to endure another 10+ years of the hell she had put us through.
I have only seen her once in 9 months or so and that was to help her pick a present for my brother. She is at rock bottom again.
I read NameforMN's thread today about her father's tragic death and how she had to sort his flat and clean up all of the bodily fluids and it just made me cry. That will be me soon, unless I refuse to get involved and the council get a third party involved who will likely bin all of her personal effects.
I called her on Christmas day to check on her and she was on her own, drinking, but made it clear she didn't want to see anybody.
She used to dote on my autistic DS. It broke his heart when she used to let him down and not turn up in favour of drinking. She didn't so much as send him a Christmas of birthday card this year. She is completely gone.
My childhood was full of neglect and she wasn't even an alcoholic then. She definitely has an undiagnosed learning disability and didn't have a clue how to be a parent. She abandoned me age 16 by moving 250 miles away without telling me she was going to leave. I didn't see her again until I was 23 and by then she was an alcoholic. I was desperate for her to love and care about me I devoted the next 10 years to trying to help her to no avail.
I'm sorry. I'm rambling. I haven't thought of her for a week or so but she's occupying my thoughts today.
Do you think walking away was the right thing to do?
I'm scared about the inevitable call that will come any day now. I don't want to deal with that. I don't want my last memory about her to be me cleaning up bodily fluids from her flat or seeing her in the Chapel of rest. It's all so fucking shit 😔