My DH and I are in our early 50s, one DC at uni, one at sixth form. He's always been a bit of a hedonist and liked a drink. His sibling died a few years ago after a lifetime of full-on alcohol addiction.
I'm going to try and put down the facts:
- When DC were toddlers I noticed him drinking to a crazy level at parties, I told him it was inappropriate and he stopped doing this.
- Approx 4 years ago he started full-time work having previously worked part-time.
- Since full-time job he's had more money and also more stress. His drinking has started increasing during this time.
- 2 years ago I realised he was drinking daily, this came to a head when he binge drank so much he fell down a friend's stairs and broke a bone.
- After the above he stopped drinking for a month, but couldn't wait to get back to it, but he agreed he'd drink 4 nights a week instead of 7.
- His 4 nights of drinking consist of 2 light nights (1-2 beers at home) and 2 heavier nights (Fri night at home getting smashed, 1 night out with a friend)
- The above has seemed manageable but is punctuated by special occasions eg parties where he binge drinks without an off switch. Also during all school holidays the daily drinking returns.
- Last year at 2 family parties his mum and sister both commented on how much he'd drunk and were concerned.
- Our older DC is copying the behaviour at the family parties.
DH is loving and kind, never abusive, I'd like to stay with him. But I am concerned about his drinking, particularly as he's role-modelling binge drinking to our DC.
I've started getting anxious about parties and gatherings with family and friends.
I'm thinking a gentle but firm conversation at the end of the holiday season would be a good idea, do any of you have advice on what I should say/not say and how to approach this generally?