Alcoholic ? / heavy drinker started drinking again

[CamAndMitchell]

Not me, but my brother! He used to drink LARGE quantities of booze. I don't know how much obviously, but I know he can really put it away. He was told to quit after seeing a GP about it and having blood work etc and he did stop drinking.

He is now having what he claims is just one or two pints on special occasions (eg Christmas). If it's as little as he claims, I don't see a major issue, but I'm a bit suspicious tbh...

Anyway, my other brother is due to see him over NYE and the heavy drinking brother has said he wants to go out for a few drinks on NYE. The other brother isn't keen as he doesn't want to encourage heavy drinker brother to drink!

What can he do? Should he cancel or insist they stay in or what? It's tricky as we lost our dad to alcoholism quite young, so we tend to be wary. But at the same time I am not sure I want to start policing anybody else's alcohol consumption especially when that anybody is a 40+ yo man.

Any advice appreciated

Hopeful bump

I would ring Al anon https://al-anonuk.org.uk/getting-help/faq/

As the daughter of an alcoholic that put himself into the grave at 44 - I would tell him straight.

b1 - are you coming out New Years for a drinking session?

b2 - no pal , I watched dad drink himself to death and I don’t fancy watching you . Thought the doctor had told you to quit so you don’t die anyway?

b1 - of course I can drinks , I can handle it , I’m in control , I only have a few , I work hard and deserve to relax - insert any other excuse you fancy in .

it won’t go down well , but pussyfooting around and pretending all is ok is nothing short of enabling.

Thanks - I will try and get in touch with AA. Other brother says he won't go out with him, but he will be staying with him. He's worried that Heavy Drinking Brother will go out and come back pissed. It's alljusy very depressing tbh. HDB was miserable sober and just loves the booze! It's sad as he has kids (who don't live or stay with him - just day time visits for obvious reasons)

If you are concerned about someone’s drinking, then I wouldn’t indulge them. No one who is a problem drinker goes back to drinking ‘normally’. Maybe it’s possible for a week or two, but it won’t last.

If I was worried about someone but wanted to spend time celebrating a special day with them, I’d say let’s do X but I don’t want to be drinking. Your other brother does it sober too along with the brother everyone is worried about. If he says no, only if they can drink, he just has to say sorry and cancel but be honest about why and that he cares about his brother and wants to see him start the year healthy and well.