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Alcohol support

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Original poster

Drinking too much

9 replies

Mindy1984 · 17/12/2023 10:16

I'm drinking too much, and always have done if I'm being honest. There is a lot going on in my life that is stressing me out, and my life is very busy, so I drink to make everything stop. Last night I had two bottles of white wine at home, I can't remember going to bed, I have a feeling something happened but I can't remember what. I don't go out socially so all my drinking is done at home, usually by myself. Usually I drink a bottle two or three times a week, but recently I have started to buy two bottles or have a gin and tonic after the bottle. I have bought books about giving up, read some of the them, listened to podcasts on the subject, I have great intentions, but then a couple of days pass and my resolve disappears. I'd really appreciate some advice, or to hears other people's experiences. Thank you.

OP posts:

escapethemaze · 17/12/2023 10:25

you’ve made a huge huge leap even starting this thread Op

now it’s time for action. AA.

are you alone?

Original poster

Mindy1984 · 17/12/2023 10:33

Thank you for your reply, no, I am married with young children, no support.

OP posts:

annabelnw9 · 17/12/2023 11:17

Well done on recognising there is a problem. Read the many threads on here and you will see there are many other people who have been down the path you have been on . You are not alone in the least. For me what worked was Allen Carr : ‘stop drinking now’, and the Allen Carr seminars. I needed three seminars over six months to get to a place where I was standing outside finally looking in at the problem , and able to see alcohol for what it really is. Psychological dependence is real and we need to challenge the subtle and not so subtle marketing and even brainwashing that we are subject to, that makes us see alcohol as a way to relax/deal with life’s norms stresses/have fun. There is an awful lot of help advice and support out there so do tap into it and you will make the changes you need to. Good luck .

escapethemaze · 17/12/2023 11:26

Mindy1984 · 17/12/2023 10:33

Thank you for your reply, no, I am married with young children, no support.

your husband… no support?

how are you balancing with the children?

do you work?

any friend at all you can confide in?

escapethemaze · 17/12/2023 11:27

Last night I had two bottles of white wine at home, I can't remember going to bed, I have a feeling something happened but I can't remember what. I don't go out socially so all my drinking is done at home, usually by myself.

where is your husband throughout?

Original poster

Mindy1984 · 17/12/2023 12:50

@annabelnw9 thank you, I have read Allen Carr before but will read it again, and look at the seminars.

@escapethemaze my oh isn't much support, the children had gone to bed, my oh went to bed too.

OP posts:

TimesaChangeling · 17/12/2023 13:36

I think what gives people impetus varies. I really wanted to stop and I read tons and tons of quit lit before I did. Brainwashing myself if you like, and then it just stuck and am still going but if that isn’t working for you, maybe you need to find an in person community? It can be on zoom if in person is too terrifying. There’s also lots of support networks on things like Facebook and TikTok (I know I know on the latter. I feel like I should be too old but whenever I get wobbly, watching a few clips helps remind me why I am doing it).

The thing about alcohol is that is definitely progressive so you will end up inching into (or finishing) that second bottle more regularly. You don’t need to contemplate forever, just today.

I think it really has to be for you - so don’t look to your unsupportive husband. Who do you want to be?

halfthesun · 17/12/2023 14:18

Hello, I use an app to help me called I am sober. You pledge in the morning and evening. I have read countless books and can be 'good' for a month then think it all goes wrong. This time I have support from DH.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 17/12/2023 22:39

Hello

I can relate to a lot of your post, my OH is pretty supportive (although I don't think he still fully gets why I had to stop completely, but he's never said anything) but I was in a similar position. Drinking at home alone (OH works til late evening), amount creeping up, buying multiple bottles to hide how much I was having, secret gins after we'd had a bottle of wine or cocktails between us. I stopped altogether 2.5 years ago having realised my luck with my health was likely to run out, that my 'functioning' wouldn't last much longer, that if I became a raging alcoholic and/or died of alcoholism I'd bring real shame on my family. By the time I stopped I had had gout, was covered in bruises, was regularly vomitting in the mornings, and the final straw was after my child being in hospital for a GA the first thing I did on bringing him home was pour wine. For the 'stress' of course.

I haven't been to AA. Its a great organisation but I know enough about it to know its ways are not for me. I joined some FB groups, the insta community is really good, read and in some cases re-read (as I'd been dicking around for years before I finally stopped), listened to podcasts etc.

Having not known how I could ever do 2 days together sober I'm now looking to my third sober Christmas.

You can do it if you really want to and can find that support or motivation to help you.

Good luck x

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