Go completely sober after pregnancy?

[Allthatglittersisntart]

Has any-one used pregnancy as a springboard to completely abandon alcohol culture and go sober forever(9 months plus breastfeeding being a good start)?
There’s some things I miss(the thought of deep Italian red wine on a terrace someplace, music enhanced by intoxication, boring social engagements made unboring) but a lot I dont. Alcohol was definitely affecting my health and energy and motivation. Also ramping up anxiety.
I wont be able to buy any alcohol anyway until I go back to work as DP teetotal and morally against alcohol(which made me more inclined to rebel in past) so it would be better if it was my decision to stop. On the other hand, my experience (as a teacher) tells me that mums on playdates drink a lot and it does make it easier to have conversations with people you may not otherwise interact with…
so what was your experience if you have tried /failed/succeeded in going sober postpartum?

Just want to caveat the below by saying that I drink but only moderately - I'm just giving my experience of the drinking and socialising culture around play dates etc in case helpful

In my experience when children are very young, I didn't really feel that alcohol was part of the meeting up culture and in fact it would be more unusual to have a drink than not. As they've got older alcohol is a bit more part of the picture, for example there might be alcohol on offer at a children's party, and there can be a bit of 'phew, great wine to get through this' nod / laugh with other parents. Equally on playdates, if the other parent drinks then yep you might have a glass and that might be part of the meet up, but that's only once you've established that that other person drinks. Broadly I think that yes it's part of the scene in a very small way, but that's because for lots of parents, a play date with someone they know, who's a friend is part of their socialising and also it's just around because lots of people drink. I also probably notice it because I do drink. However, because you're around children/in charge of children I don't think that there's a culture of getting drunk, i.e it's not, lets finish one bottle and open another and then another, because people want to get kids home to get them to bed etc. So you're in quite controlled environment. Also I don't feel that there's any implicit pressure to drink, people might have other even younger children, be tired, pregnant or just not drink. So I don't think that it would negatively affect your socialising. At the parties I've been to lots of people don't drink, that said if you struggle to be around alcohol without drinking (I'm not clear from your post) then yes you may not be able to avoid it entirely. I don't struggle to talk new people sober, so don't use alcohol for that, but if that is an issue for you, I would say I find talking to people at kids parties easier than other events because you can just use the children as a intro etc, tend to them if you run out of things to say (when mine were very little I went to parties where I couldn't speak to anyone because they wouldn't leave me alone at all!).
On a separate note, re your point about not being able to buy alcohol until you're back at work, does this mean that you will not have access to money whilst on mat leave?

@Allthatglittersisntart I am a problem drinker and anything that keeps people away from the drug that is alcohol is okay IMHO.

you talk of deep Italian wine on a terrace somewhere- read Quit like a woman - the author talks about this - it’s the moment not the wine - you can have the same experience with a nice soft drink. I’ve just done my second cruise AF and it was hard at first, but now I make my own AF moments.

but I would echo what @Tabletoppot says - it needs to be your decision and why are you not accessing funds during mat leave? I’m just asking as a big part of my problem was resentment at how my life was panning out. I was resentful at things which turned me towards drinking.

Thanks. This sounds like much pressure than the parties I went to - but they were private school circles that I won’t be moving in!
I dont actually have mat leave. I am trying to start something from home but it could fail!
My employed work has finished and I can’t get the self-employed work in the UK outside London(which I dont want to live in and which definitely has a huge alcohol culture)!

Don’t think Ive read that one, will put it on list in case I am tempted/start drinking again! I think Catherine Gray made a similar point in her books.
I did almost a year detox before but quit when I went to Greece on holiday. Every airbnb had at least a free bottle of wine. I do understand it’s not the alcohol in itself though, more the marketing. Since being pregnant-sober I have enjoyed some alcohol free beer socialising and felt a bit ‘tipsy’ (where I clicked with people) - but found I left other social things early- though probably not worth doing something if not enjoyable sober.

Yes I will also be resentful if I dont have any of my own money. A bit worried about that but at least I have had years of independence.