Anyone else navigating this? 5.5 years sober and DC who are 15, 16 and 18.
I’m finding there’s quite a mix of unexpected emotions. I am SO grateful that I’m always able to pick up in emergencies and just generally be “on”; I know that the old me would have hugely resented what she would have seen as the loss of valuable drinking time, or just left it all to DH. Also very grateful to have been sober enough that none of it is a trigger anymore.
I’m a little bit sad that we won’t have any of the silly getting-pissed-together nights I had with my family as a young adult. I’m not tempted to go back, those nights were only a very small piece of what overall was not a pretty picture - but it’s a little loss nonetheless.
And there’s a lot of dredging up of memories I’d really rather forget. This sounds much more dramatic than it is in fact, but there’s almost an element of being confronted by stuff from my past that I don’t want to remember.
They’re not all out getting smashed, by the way, but alcohol at parties is just a fact of life and I don’t think it’s helpful for them to pretend otherwise. I’ve been pretty open with all of them about why I don’t drink anymore and some of the stupid situations I got myself in to when I did.
I’m really conscious though of trying to strike a balance between wanting to scream STAY AWAY FROM THE BOOZE and being sensible and pragmatic and the parent they need in reality, since it’s in fact their lives and not a rerun of mine!
My parent-friends are all that unhelpful thing, the sensible drinker, so no-one to muse over this stuff with in real life. Anyone else?!