How do I break the cycle of one last night.

[snuggleswithmygirlies]

I have been trying to stop drinking but there always seems to be something coming up, I wanted yesterday to be the last night of drinking but then realise I still have half a bottle to finish and don't want to waste it and we're going to friends at the weekend for a drink, then it'll be Christmas and we're off to family and so that'll probably be the last drink but then it's new year and so it'll have to be then, but oh no we're away for a short break in February so it'll have to be then.
I just want a date to stop!

I wrapped up all the alcohol in the house to give as Christmas presents and then bit by bit I've unwrapped it all as and when I wanted it.

Sending sympathy but no answers I'm afraid. I'm reading Allen Carrs Easy Way to control alcohol currently. I'm more motivated by books than pure willpower and good intentions
Have you read any quit lit?

I read the Allen Carr book Stop Drinking Now, it was very insightful but as you can tell no long term success.

Could you reframe it in your head, so instead of one last drink, say ‘I’m going to have two AF days where I treat myself to nice juice, load up on vitamins, and get 8 hours sleep’ then I’ll be in good shape ready to enjoy the weekend.

Once I stop punishing myself for drinking, and reframed it to ‘treating myself’ to good health, I felt like it wasn’t all or nothing. I do the same with food. One twix doesn’t end my diet any more and send me into a binge mentality.

Maybe AA would help. There's a book called 'habit' as well as the above book which would help you ID your triggers. Good luck!

How about committing now to Dry January? Can you commit in a big way, by telling friends etc? Download the TryDry App and start to track your drinking so you know your baseline, and then you can watch the £££££ saved mount up in January. Then see how you feel.

And read lots of quitlit in the meantime - I recommend The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley, and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray. During January, read The Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace, which is a 30 day plan - the Dry January group on Facebook is also really helpful.

There is never a good time to stop, and the best time to stop is today.

But stopping at some point is a wonderful gift.

I think Christmas is a particularly difficult time to decide to stop drinking. I think you do need to do it when you are ready and you've cleared your diary, to a degree. But that being said, there will always be 'drinks with friends' or a birthday party or a holiday on the horizon. At a certain point, you just need to stop and do those things without drinking.

I do think that Dry January is a good time to stop, because there is a lot of support at that time of the year and it's very normalised, so will help you push through those initial weeks. But you can still go to drinks with friends and bring some AF beer. Or you can still have a big family dinner and drink a tonic water. It sounds obvious, but it's daunting at first to get your head around it. But you can do it and it's fine.

But I do think there is something to be said for having a bit of a clear diary for a few weeks. I just said no to stuff or cancelled plans or changed them to do something that didn't involve drinking initially. Often I still get bored and leave early. You just sort of need to be prepared for that to happen. It's much easier to do in January though when everyone is staying in and saving money.

All that said though, the day I stopped drinking my dh said, we should plan a weekend away as we never have a weekend away without the kids (like twice in 11 years). We booked it for the next month, and I was 3 weeks sober at the time. It was fantastic. Honestly, the best holiday I've been on in years. I didn't miss drinking at all and I enjoyed it so much more than I would have done drinking. Same with social events. Some of them, like I said, I get bored with, but others have been absolutely the same or better without alcohol. So you may very well simply be delaying enjoying these things more by putting off stopping.

This is probably really unhelpful but if you want to stop you just have to do it

there will always be a reason not to unless you take the bull by the horns