Am I in denial?

[Letsshop75]

I don’t think I’m ‘dependant’ on alcohol, but I do enjoy unwinding with a bottle of wine. I don’t drink when I get up or anything like that. I’ll have a bottle of wine maybe 2/3 times a week. This weekend was a disaster though. I just didn’t know when to stop-I was at a friends house with several other people. I’ve managed to really hurt myself. I’ve bruised/broken my ribs and my toe! No idea how that happened. I’ve spent the rest of the weekend feeling very sorry for myself(haven’t had a drink since Friday I should add) and I probably won’t for a good few days now.
Does this make me an alcoholic? I really want to stop drinking(and smoking-but that’s for another thread!) as it’s just so embarrassing getting myself into these states. The heavy session thing only happens if I’m socialising

Oh crikey, I'm just the same! I ask myself the same question 🙈. I drink maybe 4 times a week, every few weeks/months I have a disaster. I'll be interested to hear what others think. I think it's normal (-ish) x

I think you've definitely developed a bad habit.

I would stop drinking as soon as possible.

Would you find it easy going T-total for a little while?

Yes you have a problem. The problem is that you are hurting yourself as you're getting too drunk to be in control.

Binge drinking is a form of alcoholism.

You sound exactly like me 5 years ago. I would drink the odd bottle of wine at home, sometimes alone. The weekend would revolve around alcohol, nights out or in. If I was out I was the loud, messy one. I would hurt and embarrass myself, and feel shame for days after.

I'm T total now. Abruptly quit after a particularly rough night. Everything has improved in my life, there isn't one down side. Life is better and brighter. I am mid thirties.

Good luck! Maybe try sobriety for a month and go from there, just don't have the mentality of rewarding yourself with a drink at the end, as it's not really a treat at all. Buy yourself something nice with all the money you'll save.

💯 this. I was like this for a number of years and my drinking got worse and worse.

fast forward to now - jobs lost, nearly the end of my marriage, broken bones, mental health crisis, stage 4 hypertension, friendships lost (not all).

your drinking is very likely to get worse. Take a break of at least 6 months (minimum 100 days to correct your brain changes as drinking like this physically alters your brain chemistry/neurotransmitters) then re-evaluate. You MAY be able to get back to “normal” drinking but if you drink to excess again after a good period AF, you will likely need to be abstinent for life.

I am day 111 sober after a thousand day 1s. This is the first time I’ve actually started to feel like I don’t want to drink at all anymore. I’ve done a few weeks AF before but always wished I was able to drink. Now I am genuinely questioning if I want to drink again. This is a new feeling for me and I put it down to being over 100 days AF and my brain chemistry normalising 🤞.

so @Letsshop75 - please don’t get to where I was. It’s a horrible life and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

good luck - you can do this! 💐💪❤️

@2023forme amazing, well done! When u hit the bottom the only way is up.

I won't ever try alcohol again, I've seen what it does (parents) and I hate how normalised it is.

I don't want my kids to be heavy drinkers, so I am leading by example.

I also lost friends, but what I gained was immeasurable. My sense of self for the first time in my life. I have an addictive personality, so it was never going to go well for me.

I don't think it's particularly useful for you to make the decision to stop drinking based on whether or not you think you might be an alcoholic. A very useful term from the book that helped me get sober was 'Problem Drinker'. Is your drinking a problem? It definitely sounds like it.

You already want to stop drinking. You don't need to be an alcoholic to do that! I agree with @2023forme I would stop drinking for a minimum of six months. I know you will be thinking 'oh but Christmas'. That's the trick; to stop drinking you have to not drink during holidays and events - it's not mandatory!

Whilst you've got 'the fear' after your weekend I would spend some time looking into Quit Lit and podcasts, there are some good recommendations on threads in this section. Give yourself some accountability as well - tell the people you were with on Friday how embarrassed you are by your behaviour and you think you might stop drinking at social gatherings. The likelihood is that, out of politeness and our drinking culture in the UK, they're likely to say oh no it wasn't that bad and what about Christmas etc etc but treat that not as confirmation that you can drink but practice for what to say when people try to persuade you to do so. I would avoid the temptation to think 'I'll do Dry January instead' as that just kicks the problem down the road when now is the time that stopping drinking is in the forefront of your mind.

Hope your ribs and toe are better soon, it all sounds very painful.

If you honestly want to stop, and you can't — that is: you've tried many times, and you just don't seem to have the ability to control your drinking over any decently long period of time, then many people find the label of alcoholic useful and seek help from outside their own heads.

You write that you want to stop drinking but that you also know you will in a few days — what's going on there? Worth being curious about that.

Can you control and enjoy your drinking at the same time? Many people who find the label alcoholic useful will say that was their problem: they could only enjoy drinking when they weren't trying to limit themselves to one or two.

For me it was just getting sick and tired of trying to drink how I wanted without the periodic disasters happening. For me, I had to accept that the disasters were part of any drinking I was doing — regardless of having lots of nights when they didn't occur.

A whole bottle of wine multiple times a week is also objectively a lot of alcohol. I drank like that, never in the mornings also, and I call myself an alcoholic and am happily part of AA now.