Can I call myself an alcoholic?

[itsanewday23]

I've always binge drank, there's very rarely been a time I've had a drink and it hasn't ended with me being black out drunk.

By feb, I was drinking to blackout once a week, at least and drinking some kind of alcoholic drink every other day (using an excuse of oh wow kids are in bed, got through the day let's have 1-3 vodkas)

Under no circumstances can I control/moderate my drink.

I've been sober since. I didn't use medical support I.e have a detox - I stopped outright I didn't have withdrawals (I was surprised by that)

Can I call myself an alcoholic? I believe I am one. It's how I stay sober, by reminding myself that I am. Remind myself I can't drink like others, I do not react to it the same.

However, because I didn't need detoxing or further support I was advised today that I was simply a binge drinker

But, drinking to excess how I was - and having it affect my mental health and eventually my daily life; surely that makes me an alcoholic?

However, because I didn't need detoxing or further support I was advised today that I was simply a binge drinker

who said this?

@bitchatty my sister

oh fgs op

seriously

come on now

get yourself to your GP and tell him what you say above

Arguing with your sister about whether you can call yourself an alcoholic? honestly mumsnet never ceases to amaze me

Is this supposed to be helpful?

Your alcohol dependancy your label!
I am a alcoholic. I no longer drink. I stopped my five bottle a week habit twenty two months ago. My sister said something similar to protect her habit. People with a vested interest in booze don't like non drinkers. It took me twelve months to admit my illness. I am OK with it. I don't tell new people just ask for help from old friends.

I didn't argue? She gave her opinion, I gave mine. I'm struggling around the time of year, would rather use this platform than talk to my unsupportive family.

But @bitchatty strikes again reminds me exactly why I found mumsnet unhelpful when I first started to get sober, so I don't know why I thought people had changed their attitudes. Still as ignorant as ever

Long gone are the days where alcoholics were only considered to be the people who woke up and swigged wine/vodka/lager as soon as they could.

Alcoholism is rightly recognised by professionals as when a person cannot control their relationship with alcohol and is consuming to the point where their health is at risk of being damaged, along with their career and personal relationships.

Well done for recognising that you fit into this category and taking steps to be in control. Your sister is probably projecting because she drinks too much, too often. By labelling you as only a 'binge drinker' she's minimising the lack of control she has over her own drinking. Don't let her drag you down.

I think anyone who binge drinks regularly is an alcoholic. It sounds like you are unhappy with your level of drinking and want to change. This is all that matters and I can’t see why anyone would turn you away from support in quitting.

So first things first. Congratulations on being sober. It is absolutely wonderful to hear and I hope you are beginning to see the benefits of it.

I have a lot of alcoholics in my life (sadly). An alcoholic is someone who has an unhealthy pattern or reliance on alcohol. It doesn't matter what that is. If it has an impact on you, your family or you day to day life then its not a great place to be. And as a PP said its your personal experience so it is up to you to decide whether or not you feel like you were drinking in a way which made your life a little less special. For what it is worth a very close relative had a similar drinking pattern and was absolutely an alcoholic, it escalated and they eventually lost everything. The main and most important thing is you aren't at that point and have stopped before you got there and that is amazing.

Congratulations again 👏

Well done on being sober since February.

Your sobriety is the most precious thing, so do whatever you need to preserve it.

Some people find the label helpful, others don’t - define yourself however works for you.

There may well be an element of “if you’re not an alcoholic, I can’t be either”, because most conversations are actually about people’s own drinking.

Yes you are and well done for being in recovery. Same here.

This the key for me:

"Under no circumstances can I control/moderate my drink."

That's what makes you different to normal people.
That's what makes me an alcoholic.

Sorry. I missed saying well done.

I would never go back to my old ways. Too embarrassing, too timewaseful.
In less than two years I have lost three stone, gained a happier husband and survived a horrible job situation. Don't say alcoholic if you don't need to.
Say you are allergic to booze, we all are really hence the sweat, body heat, dogs breath, etc. as the body trys to expel a poison.
Good luck.
And I agree it is a difficult subject on MN. I can remember a poster saying my husband should leave me (it's an illness). I had to change my name a few times to get away from that lady!

I really hope OP doesn't take this to heart!

Well done, sober since February that’s really good.

the label alcoholic is very ambiguous, but I would say if you are, then you are recovering and I think you can proudly label yourself a recovering alcoholic.

you do whatever it takes to keep on the path you’re on 💐

Well done OP you have recognised you have a problem and have done something about it. There are many misconceptions about alcoholism and can be seen here because unless it affects them they really do not understand it and why should they.
Alcoholism is a three fold illness spiritual physical and mental and actually has little to do with how much you drink. Everyone that drinks heavily is not an alcoholic they have the ability to stop or control their drinking without any effort they do not suffer the mental torture that comes will alcoholism. Too deep for here perhaps but alcoholism has little to do with alcohol.
You stopped without a detox that certainly does not mean you are not an alcoholic many have also stopped this way. The clue is in how it made you feel and knowing that once you started to drink you could not control it.
i have been sober now for nearly 20 years the best decision I ever made.

Well done on staying sober.

My guess is that your sister is saying that for one of two reasons:

Either she doesn't want to admit that her own relationship with alcohol is unhealthy.

Or she is embarrassed by the idea of having an alcoholic sister and all the negative connotations that go along with it.

Use whatever vocabulary you need to stay sober.

Well done, OP.

From my limited experience of these things, it sounds great that you are acknowledging it and have taken big steps already. Your sister seems to see your declaration/acceptance as some kind of attention-seeking. Well, that's unfortunate for her. Hope you manage to get the right support and keep up the good work.

If you feel that applies to you then it does.

i never applied that label to myself as I personally find it unhelpful as it ‘others’ alcohol addiction when the truth IMO is it’s the same as any other drug addiction, and I also see it as an AA term. I used the terms alcohol addict or living with alcohol use disorder to describe myself. But it’s personal choice. I didn’t need rehab or detox either but I most certainly was alcohol dependent to some extent.

Yes I agree.

”Alcoholic” is a loaded and emotive term and conjures up a stereotypical image of the park bench drunk or red faced older man who has lost everything. If people have that mental image, they can convince themselves they’re “not that bad” and therefore “not an alcoholic” because they haven’t reached that stage.

Call yourself whatever you want if it helps you stay sober. But don't wear it as a badge.
Despite what we are told about addiction being an illness, implying others should care for and support the person who is 'unwell', alcoholics' behaviour affects everyone close to them, whether the person wants to acknowledge that or not. Many alcoholics use it as an excuse for their behaviour, it's not their fault, they're not well, can't help it, etc.
It may be that your sister doesn't like the label because of the image it gives her, which in her mind doesn't fit you. Perhaps she, or someone else close to her binge drinks as you did, and she doesn't want to think of them as an 'alcoholic'. Whatever the reason, she doesn't like it so you need to respect that. It's fine to term yourself whatever you want if it works for you though, but you can't force others to accept that.

Surely then the more people like the OP that use it the better and it breaks the taboo.

You do your sobriety your way, I’ll do mine my way. :)

Also, my earlier reply explains further why it’s a term I reject (for myself).

I tell people I'm an alcoholic and I believe I am. I never woke up needing to drink but I started drinking after work every single day and kept drinking until I was struggling to stay awake. I'd start thinking about a drink in the early afternoon and on several occasions would start about an hour before logging off while WFH (if my DH wasn't around). On good day I drank a bottle of wine, on a bad day I could manage to drink two. It went on for about 3 years.

I was never tempted to drink and drive. My work never slipped. Nobody noticed when I was hungover at work and after the first 6 months I was never hungover anyway. My friends didn't notice. My DH never thought it was a problem and would buy me wine on the way home, despite not drinking daily himself. There were days when I woke up and couldn't remember much of the evening before. I rarely remembered going to bed. I never hit the classic rock bottom you associate with an alcoholic. My DH was surprised when I told him I was. He didn't know that from year 2 to year 3 I had been concerned about my drinking and tried to stop. I was thinking about wine from the early morning when I stopped and it never lasted more than a few days (with a LOT of effort). I tried to convince myself I could moderate and would fall back into daily drinking. I have no stop button when I drink and had to stop completely. After confessing to DH I started attending AA meetings. He was surprised I felt I needed them. I met some of the classic down on their luck alcoholics there but I also met a lot of people like me who functioned in the real world until the evening when it all went to pot.