Heart breaking for mum

[3menandalittlelady]

My mum has had a tough time. We lost my brother almost 10 years ago and she's never really accepted it. We lost my step dad 6 months ago and she's turned to alcohol in a big way.

It got so bad that she was having to use her lifeline to call for help when she would fall drunk. She smashed up her jaw and didn't even know she had done it. She became painfully thin because she swapped food for alcohol. She was hallucinating, incontinent and generally not very nice. She spent a month in hospital recovering and gaining some strength. Awful as it sounds, we all felt relieved because we knew she was safe in there.

She is now at home again and the alcohol is creeping back in. She's doing her absolute best to hide it but it's obvious. I was helping her use her amazon app and the ordered vodka was larger than life on her phone screen.

I sipped her drink when she left the room and I could taste the vodka. She said I was imagining it.

I am not aware that she has fallen yet but she takes morphine for back pain and I think that interacts with the alcohol so I suspect we are going back down that dark path.

I don't know what to do. Half of me wants to take her apps away so that she can't order alcohol to the house but what right do I have to treat my mum like that? (she can't drive and has poor mobility so going to the shop isn't an option for her.)

The other half of me says that her life choices are for her and my only job is to love her...even if that means watching her self destruct.

What would you do?

Could you perhaps speak with her GP? Or social services, if you believe her to be vulnerable?

This sounds really tough OP, sending you strength. You sound like a loving, caring daughter.

It's not a bad idea to try and intercept the vodka deliveries by some means. If she drinks vodka and takes morphine it's only a matter of time before she falls. I'd imagine her bones aren't great if she is really thin and alcohol is really bad for bone density. Could you get her down onto weaker alcohol, like wine, then beer, then really low alcohol beer? If you had some control over what she was drinking it might help. Vodka/ spirits are an absolute killer when it comes to falls etc. Can you talk to her and say I know you are drinking again, and almost get her on side so she might accept less damaging booze. This is not ideal of course, but it feels like she wants to continue and if that's the case rehab or interventions etc will be pointless. She's obviously very unhappy. Has she accepted any talking therapies?