Hangxiety … oh the fear ! My mind needs a cuddle 😩

[Mamalocket]

Hi all ,
so I’m in dire need of some advice please (hopefully telling me it’s all going to be ok) but quite possibly telling me I’m a complete numpty which maybe I’ll deserve , from you lovely mumsnetters! I’m feeling fragile 🥺

Sorry in advance for long drawn out message !
I’m on day 3 of the most horrendous beer fear , it’s crippling me 😩
I’m an anxious Annie anyway , but this has really thrown me!

So a big group of us friends went out on Saturday night to a ‘grown up disco’ night , had a fab time , then we staggered up to the local bars after for more dancing and drinks.

I felt like I got drunk soo fast , possibly because i started some anxiety medication for the first time last week , but not one that you have to take everyday just as and when needed , so I hadn’t taken it to account that alcohol may not agree 🙈
Anyway , later on a few us close friends went on to the small club where we carried on dancing!

At the end it was just me and one of my friends still out , we are a huggy kisssy group of friends anyway with each other , all girls , and do peck each other on the lips but never in a fancying way ! But this friend has had a full blown snog with one of her girl pals before!
I think I feel really anxious that she was hoping to get an actual snog , especially because we were so drunk (not that being drunk excuses anything)
which has now made me feel like in her eyes its not just friendly loved up pecks 😩
it’s weird because if it was any of my other friends I don’t think I would be feeling like this because they always just come and plant kiss on me !

it’s made me feel like Iv cheated, Iv been with my DP for 13 years , 2 gorgeous kids and Iv never once dreamt of smooching anyone else ! But this is making me really feel like I’m a terrible person , terrible partner 😭

what do you guys think , I’m abit nervous of responses but know I need to hear them 🥵

Thankyou in advance for reading my whittly mind !!

Just doing a gentle bump to see if anyone can see this post 🙈
Iv not posted much on here atal so not sure if it's viewable or not ?

You're overthinking it. It's absolutely nothing.

@Fallingthroughclouds
Ahh Thankyou so much for replying !!
Do you really think so , Iv got my self in a right tiz about it !

Iv even told myself if it was a friend saying it to me what would I say , and I'd be telling her to give over , but I can't seem to tell myself that 😩
Thankyou !

Oh big hugs, this is why I don't like drinking the hangover anxiety is not worth it for me

Sounds like your worrying over nothing - you had a fun night of drinking with your friends and dancing, some hugs and peck on the lips nothing wrong with that just all girls having fun

Go for a long walk, drink lots of water, listen to some sobriety podcasts just get through the next couple of days by Friday/Saturday you will feel okay again xx

@Alwaystired2023
Thankyou so much !! Honestly I can't tell you how much this has helped , my friends at home are bound to say it's fine to make me feel better but hearing if from people completely unbiased makes me feel a ton better!
Yes I'm off with my little lad today so I'll take your advice on the fresh air and go for a nice wander up the woods ! It's honestly made me just not want to drink again , I can't handle the after feeling ! xx

This time Friday morning you'll be out of the mire and feeling better. I promise. It's not a big deal and soon you'll see this for yourself. Just get through today.

I honestly can’t see any reason you’d need to feel bad or guilty here. It’s really nothing :)

Maybe try and put yourself in the other woman's position. If she knew you felt like this she would either feel embarrassed or laugh about it.

Don't worry about it!

This time tomorrow, you'll be fine. Its horrible though at the time!

You feel anxious she may have been hoping to snog you? How did you cheat on your I don't think I'm understanding what's actually happened, if anything but I'm sure the hangxiety will pass.

How did you cheat on your partner?*

Thanks everyone for your words of reassurance 😅 the beer fear is the pits , I'm annoyed with myself because been trying to get a hold of my anxiety and then I go get blotto and make myself feel worse 😖

@dooneyousmugelf Thankyou yeah I just need to reassure myself it will pass (it is doing slowly) and already when I read it back myself it does sound pretty little ,

I more mean I felt like because I know she is a pretty sexually confident woman ( who I do love dearly ) , does the fact that Iv been doing the normal pecks when she would want to go further mean Iv cheated , even by just kissing like that ? Not that she fancies me , I don't mean it big headed , just that she's very open and free I guess ! She's in a relationship with my partners friend , but he's pretty open about stuff so it's not that she's necessarily doing anything wrong because it works for them 🤷‍♀️ , does that make sense ??

You really are overthinking this OP. It doesn’t sound like anything actually happened. You need carbs, fizzy drinks, something easy and mindless to watch on telly, and a nap. All will be well.

@waterlego aah a nap would be bliss but the bigger kid is now home from school too so no chance of that , but fizzy drink and carbs I will definately do !! Thankyou Thankyou for helping ease my fretting , I appreciate it loads !! I really do over think things , even the most normally daily things , it drives me crazy sometimes 🤦🏽‍♀️ Thankyou again !!

I get it OP.

Your mind is doing overtime and your anxiety is in full swing.

The details are not remotely the same, but the last time I got drunk I had such severe hangxiety, that I made the decision there and then to not drink again. And I haven't.

The feeling is so hard to explain but I was having panic attacks and life just seemed to be so doomed during those 4 days. I was thinking up all sorts of shit, which in hindsight now, were completely ridiculous.

You will feel better in a few days, but until then, try eat well and drink plenty of water and rehydrating drinks.

And maybe have a think about if a few good party hours are really worth it for your mental health while recovering. I know for sure that it wasn't.

Hello,

Hope you're feeling better. I also suffer beer fear and am on some anti-anxiety meds although been on them for a while and now tapering off, would analyse things said / done during the night and cringe even though there was nothing to cringe about in all honesty. I found that my beer fear was mainly created when I drank lager, if I drank spirits or cider then I was fine.

@isthismylifenow
Ah thanks so much , that's rotten you've had it so bad too , and yeah your right you do think up all kinds of shit ... even start to make up senarios that might of happened 🤦🏽‍♀️😂 it's seems daft once out of the darkness but I think I'll be the same as you after this time you know , I just cannot handle feeling like that again !
How you finding going out and not drinking ? Good on you for having the will power 🙌🏼 that's brill!
it's a shame because I love a good night out and getting tiddled but your so right it's just not worth the aftermath !!
X

@chesman
Ah so yours is actual beer fear then ! Yeah I'm normally absolutely fine on vodka , hungover but not the anxiety but this time it was a whole different level even though I stuck to the voddy (and a fair few tequilas) but again that's not out the norm!
Oh to be 20 again and not give a damn hey 😂 💭

Just to say though I feel a ton better now , you lovely lot helped massively so THANKYOU ! And then I had a couple of friends round the other night and then pretty much laughed at me when I whittled to them about it 😅
The guilty feeling has gone thank GOD !