Has anyone been to an AA meeting?

[ResponsibleWalrus]

What was it like the first time you went? I know the meetings can vary from group to group but it's hard to find any personal experiences from people attending a meeting for the first time.

There’s a recent BBC documentary where the people’s appearances are changed that you might find useful

It will be very welcoming. The whole purpose of AA is to share sobriety and help other people recover.

If you're not religious, you may find the references to a higher power disconcerting. It may help to think of your Higher Power as the best part of you - the part that knows what is best for you and wants you to get well.

People will be in different stages of recovery. Many of them will be dealing with difficult issues and some of them will be pretty disturbed. Others will have worked a lot of stuff and will be leading happy, positive lives. Not everyone with long sobriety will be a great role model, but hopefully you will meet people you can relate to who are getting their lives together and able to help you.

People will also have different drinking histories. It's easy to listen to someone who lost everything and think you don't have a problem. But you also may listen to someone who lost a lot more than you have and recognise yourself in their story.

Definitely give it a try - and maybe come back here and say how you found it? It might take a few tries or a few meetings to start feeling at home. I've heard "Don't give up on a meeting till you've tried it 6 times and don't give up on AA till you've tried 6 meetings".

Good luck! It will work for you if you really want it to.

People are obviously limited in what they can say, as it’s an anonymous group and members are asked to protect their own anonymity in case they jeopardise others’ by being too open.

My experience is that it’s worth looking out a women’s group (assuming you are a woman) as women’s and men’s experiences can be very different. You’ll encounter a whole range of people and a range of experiences- plenty of people who attend AA are a long way from the stereotype of having hit rock bottom and it’s common to think “what are they doing here?” at first. A typical meeting might involve people sitting taking it in turns to say how they’re doing and then one speaker talking for longer (pre-arranged). You don’t need to say anything, you can just listen if you’re more comfortable with that. You certainly don’t need to do that whole “I’m X and I’m an alcoholic…” thing although some people do. There’s normally a collect at the end to pay for the room and tea and biscuits etc.

Hi @ResponsibleWalrus
I took my Dad to AA meetings. It was very welcoming and people are really nice. I would definitely recommend an AA meeting in person and online. All the best x

I’ve been going to AA meetings for 15 years. The first thing l’d say is that nothing is expected of you but to attend. There’s no record keeping or anything to sign it’s totally free except for a small donation for tea / coffee etc ( the “pot” ) It’s a well established self help group so just turn up ! It might be good to tell someone it’s your first meeting - sometimes the person taking the meeting will ask if there is anyone new to AA so you might say it then. There will then be a few readings which might feel odd and old fashioned ..but you’ll get used to that ! Most meetings have a “chair” which is someone talking about how it was when they drank, their journey into recovery and how they live sober. Some meetings just have a reading to reflect on. The main thing l hope you will hear is that it’s absolutely possible to get sober, stay sober, change your life for the better and enjoy life ! There’s a lot of laughter in the meetings ! You’ll hear talk of steps and a programme and sponsors but the most important thing is to just be there and have a desire to stop drinking. All of that will come when you’re ready and you will decide when that is. No one will tell you to get sober immediately or give you a timescale and as long as you don’t disrupt the meeting you don’t even have to be sober to go to a meeting . You’ll hopefully have an open mind and get some hope. AA had been around for around 88 years …it works for millions so give it a go ! Good luck. P.s. there’s usually biscuits too !

Just wanted to add as both I and @MrsLighthouse have mentioned the collection for tea and coffee- this is just because it can feel easier to do something like go to your first meeting if you know little practical things like this. It's absolutely fine not to put in or just a few pennies- no one will judge. So if money is tight don't let that be a barrier.

My friend who is an alcoholic always said AA wasn’t for her. She went to a meeting recently with a friend who goes regularly and said she was pleasantly surprised. She didn’t want any religious/higher power type stuff, but said everyone was really welcoming and it was nice to meet people with the same issues she has. I don’t think she has attended again though.

I went to a few many years ago. I just sort of snuck in the back and listened. No one spoke to me (thankfully - I wouldn't have wanted that at the time) and I didn't really know what I was meant to do. But it was perfectly fine. There are online meetings now, so if you are nervous about going to a meeting for the first time, then it's worth trying an online meeting first. You don't have to have your video on or speak. You can just listen.

I have been to other alcohol support groups (as I don't do AA) and I would say that actually getting up the nerve to go for the first time and to speak can feel really scary. It feels like a big step and it's also admitting to other people that you have an issue. But it was absolutely not as big of a deal as I thought it would be. You just literally need to get yourself through the door or log on, if an online meeting, and that's the scariest part. Everyone is really lovely and welcoming, and it's so just not a big deal now. It helped so much just to listen to other people's experiences.

Exactly this, everyone is welcoming it's a really benevolent vibe, no one even needs to know it's your first meeting if you don't want to say as lots of people go to different meetings so they wont bat an eyelid at new faces

I found it so helpful in the first few months of sobriety. Listening to the stories and identifying with so many of the behaviours. I felt less alone and full of hope that if these people could do it, maybe I could too.

I haven't attended one in the zoom era as I was about six months in by lockdown and felt strong enough to carry on by myself. But those people who have up their time to support me and share their deep personal struggles and triumphs made a massive impression on me. Give it a go x

I also got there a few mins late and snuck in at the back for the first one. Didn't even speak just listened, and returned a few smiles and nods.

Just want to add to those saying it's a very kind, caring vibe. I needed that at the time and it was very welcoming and just nice. Very much recommend.

I went to one meeting, for me it was all egos and drinking stories, it all made me just want to drink more, AA is obviously not for me.

Thank you all.

@NCyousee it's helpful to know about the donation. I rarely use cash so it's good to be prepared.

Getting up the courage to go feels like the hardest part. I have no idea if there'll be 5 people there or 50 (I'd rather 50 to be able to sink in unnoticed!). I might try online first.