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Can't get past two weeks

9 replies

SerialMover · 03/09/2023 07:29

I'm driving myself mad. Despite all good intentions, I simply CANT get past two weeks alcohol free, and I've had enough. I start all determined, and then it's like after a couple of weeks my brain tells me that a few drinks will be okay. And here I am now, hungover and exhausted after sleeping badly. I want to stop so much, but it feels like Groundhog Day...

OP posts:
Octosaurus · 03/09/2023 07:35

SerialMover · 03/09/2023 07:29

I'm driving myself mad. Despite all good intentions, I simply CANT get past two weeks alcohol free, and I've had enough. I start all determined, and then it's like after a couple of weeks my brain tells me that a few drinks will be okay. And here I am now, hungover and exhausted after sleeping badly. I want to stop so much, but it feels like Groundhog Day...

Yes you can! You're not defeated yet for one relapse as long as you honestly get back on the wagon with good intentions the next day. Just keep taking a day at a time

SerialMover · 03/09/2023 07:43

Thank you @Octosaurus for your kind words, I guess I'm just sick of this cycle, and know I'll feel anxious crap for a few days now. I think my husband is also sick of hearing the same old declarations of sobriety, only for me to fail.

OP posts:
Onewildandpreciouslife · 03/09/2023 11:36

Hi, sorry you’re going through this. After 2 weeks, the chemical balance of your brain is restored from the drinking - it takes about 10 days for the cortisol (stress hormone) levels to get back to normal. So you start to feel really good, and the memories of all the grotty bits of drinking fade away. It’s all completely natural and explainable, but incredibly frustrating!

Have you read any quit lit about how alcohol works on your brain and body? This Naked Mind by Annie Grace and Alcohol Explained by William Porter are helpful to lots of people.

and this blog post will assure you you’re not alone …

The Obstacle Course

The Obstacle Course

A blog about how to stop drinking alcohol and stay sober

http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/2015/09/the-obstacle-course.html

starlight2023 · 04/09/2023 09:48

I'm the same, it's so disheartening.

I enjoyed reading the post above though, very inspirational!

budgetingnovice1993 · 04/09/2023 09:52

Can you try to avoid all social occasions for a month, clear the house of alcohol and try to keep busy until you get over the 2 weeks? Stock your fridge with soft drink / water and lemon/water and cucumber. Wear an elastic band on wrist and every time you want to drink ping it so you train your brain to associate thoughts of drinking with pain. Read your Initial post back every time you are tempted. Do anything you can to get over the 2 week as tick off days on a calendar, calculate how much money you have saved, Google the damage alcohol does (ethanol is literally poison). You can do this. Good luck.

Sillymummies123 · 05/09/2023 08:56

I honestly believe the key is getting yourself I crave and be excited for an alcohol free life, and to "put yourself off alcohol" witn various quitlit stuff.

Obviously this isn't an approach that works for everyone, but it has for me. Two months in, though sadly I have little street cred as I had a pre planned last hurrah halfway through. Didn't enjoy it, put me off alcohol even more and the future looks bright.

mindutopia · 05/09/2023 12:19

You absolutely can make it past two weeks. You just have to learn from experience and also reach out and find some community to keep you supported and accountable.

Have you ever started drinking again after some time off and it's gone well and you've been able to moderate and just have one drink and switch to tea and then wake up the next morning feeling all sparkly and fresh?

I'm guessing not. You probably wouldn't be wanting to quit if that was the case. You have more than likely picked up right where you left off and drank too much and it's been awful and you regretted it and you feel miserable and wish you hadn't. It's a learning experience though. You've done it and now you know. You don't have to keep trying to see if you can just have a couple drinks and it all be fine. Because you can't. It doesn't work. It won't work. People who have drinking problems don't just magically get better after a short break and go back to drinking 'normally' (whatever that means) with no regrets or consequences.

But you can't keep doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different outcome than before. So what can you do differently this time? There's two things I'd suggest you could try. One is to treat yourself like you are unwell and you need to recover from something that is making you poorly. How would you take care of yourself if you were recovering from a really bad stomach bug or from a bereavement? (I know these things are very different things - but it depends on if you need to heal more physically or emotionally or more likely both). If you were really trying to feel better after a really tough time, what would you prioritise? Stopping drinking isn't about abstaining from alcohol. It's about topping up your glass (never mind the pun!) and filling your life with stuff that is going to nourish you and not wear you down to the bones.

Honestly, I took a couple weeks off of work (this may not be possible, but it doesn't have to be), and I filled my days with reading, exercise, swimming, naps, etc. things I enjoyed. At times, I would have normally drank, I did other things - I took a class, I went to the cinema with my kids, I went for a run, sometimes I just went to bed. If you drink because you are meeting up with friends on a Friday, don't for a bit. I started taking a class on some Friday nights and I had to drive to it, so couldn't drink. Cancel stuff if you think you'll be tempted to drink if you go. Read some quit lit, go to bed early with a cup of herbal tea and read. Plan something for 6am on Saturday so you have to go to bed early and sober on Friday night.

And then reach out and find other people who are also quitting. There are lots of Stop for September things happening now. There are Facebook groups and loads of support networks out there. I belong to a group called Bee Sober (you can google them if you want) and they have a private Facebook group and lots of support. It's a really nice community where everyone is in the same boat and you can keep yourself accountable.

You probably know this already, but the first few weeks are the hardest bit. You're doing the hardest bit over and over again and never getting to the good easy bit. I'm 4 months now and honestly, I don't even think about drinking anymore. I've been to parties and BBQs and on holiday and did the summer school holidays and weekends away and honestly, it's totally fine. You will get there and it will be so much easier.

PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 06/09/2023 08:21

I was you for a long time. I think the problem was that I didn't really want to stop drinking, I wanted to cut down. I hadn't really imagined life without booze.
And it was always a battle of willpower where I was denying myself something - just like if you say you'll lay off the chocolate, then get tempted to binge eat it all. Denial and cravings is a crap way to live.
William Porter's Alcohol Explained and other quit lit persuaded me that I really didn't want to drink and my life would actually be better without it. And indeed it has been - a year down the line now.

Prettypaisleyslippers · 13/09/2023 16:33

How are you doing OP? I’m on day 10. Feels like way longer.

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