I need to stop now

[nomoal]

Hi, I've been drinking a bottle of wine every day for the past five years.
I've put two stone on in weight , I've put it before seeing my elderly parents / adult children . I've been banned from pubs ...

So obviously it needs to stop. But I get so down that I keep saying one drink and that'll make me feel better, but obviously it doesn't stop there .

Luckily I've recently had routine blood tests done and no liver abnormalities shown (god knows how)

I had a glass of wine at ten this morning but then stopped which to me is a huge achievement which seems ridiculous.

I'm just posting to say hello really and love reading all the posts about how people feel after quitting

I felt much better after quitting. Seek help from your GP before stopping. It can be dangerous if you’re physically dependent.

Also, find a peer support group. That will make it much more likely that you quit successfully. Good luck.

I was a fully blown alcoholic and drug addict for just under 12 years. I went to rehab 3 years ago and honestly my life has changed for the better in so many ways that I could never have believed possible, I’ve gone from being a month or two away from dying (organs shutting down etc) to being fully employed, engaged to be married with a lovely home and expecting my first baby. It’s really difficult especially in the early days, but being willing to stop and recognising you have a problem is a huge first step. I will say AA offers great support however it wasn’t for me in a lot of ways, but if you can get yourself down to a meeting once or twice a week and build a community of people around you who have been where you are, it really helps.

Definitely don’t get into a relationship with anyone from your AA group though. I’ve seen so many people do it, and it can be devastating.

Wishing you the very best.

Hey @nomoal why don't you join us? Some of us are only a few days in and your story is a very familiar one. Why not post on the threads on here of those who have more experience and they will help. They are kind and supportive and your story is one that many of us can identify with. Good luck with your quest.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4877066-its-day-1-anyone-else
This is the thread that @Thepeppapigfanclub mentioned, we are on day 6, but others have joined who are on different days (both more and less). It’s nice to have the group support.

I think you are making the right decision, drinking in the morning is a huge red flag that your drinking is a problem. Good luck with it all - I was a bottle a day drinker for longer than you, now 2 years sober c

How are you getting on @nomoal ?

Hi, day two of nothing .
Tired as hell but feeling better than I thought I would . Thanks x

That's great news! It is tiring isn't it? It will be worth it.

This is my first ever post and I've made the decision to stop drinking. I didn't need to drink every night but once I started I just couldn't stop. I'd easily do a couple of bottles of wine an evening. I have been sober for 6 days now and in that time I've had a day at horse racing, a festival and a family bbq. This is massive for me and I'm sure there will be pregnancy rumours going around before long...
I haven't told anyone that I've just decided to stop drinking because I can't deal with the "yeah ok then I've heard that before"
I am kind of mourning the fun person I was with booze, happy go lucky and life and soul. I'm not sure if I really know how to be fun in these social situations without booze...anyone else feel this?

Hey sillywilly,
You’re doing great, well done. You should be really proud of being in potentially boozy situations and not drinking. I was similar to you, didn’t drink every day but moderation was hard once I was already going. Abstinence is easy, one glass is easy, but once I felt the effects I was on the warpath. Regarding mourning the fun person you were, I had that feeling as well. Then I realised I wasn’t more fun drunk, I was more annoying, louder, I interrupted people more, I thought I was funnier but definitely wasn’t, I was more embarrassing, more of a liability, put myself in harm’s way more, etc. Once you reframe “fun-loving, spontaneous, life of the party” to “worrying, reckless, irresponsible” it’s easier to avoid. Obviously you can be the fun-loving spontaneous life of the party and not be an alcoholic or even a problem drinker, but for me they were intertwined.

Thank you for your reply. I like the idea of reframing fun loving to reckless. I've had so many mornings of beer fear that it's really refreshing to not have that. I've not been in a position yet where I'm on a night out with friends but I'm looking forward to the challenge. I feel really positive about this change and I'm sure there will be times that I miss those wild nights, but I will just have to make more memories and I might actually be able to remember them. My 13 year old has even commented that I've been less stroppy which is nice lol

The thing is, there's literally a neurochemical reason that you aren't "fun without booze", at least initially. With repeated drinking, your body releases dynorphin which literally inhibits feelings of reward/happiness. This is to oppose the artificial lift in dopamine you get when you drink.

Therefore, when you stop you have dynorphin > dopamine, and cannot enjoy anything. Hence the "nothing is fun without alcohol. Eventually, the levels normalise and fun returns.

Keep going!