Friendless probably due to my drinking

[alco]

I'll try to be brief. A large group of us were friends from school and still used to meet up regular enough also had a group chat. The group chat dropped by the way side a few years ago, but I do think they have another one. Stuff 1 friend has said makes me think they do.

Anyway, most of them went away last weekend, I saw it on SM. It shows how little we talk anymore that I didn't even know. It wasn't so much that which made me feel really crap I text two of them during the week to see how it was, they have read the messages but haven't replied.

I have been mostly sober for the last 3 years but they know I went to rehab all said well done etc. But then uninvited me to a party because it would be 'awkward' for everyone else. So I am guessing this is why I was not invited away.

I have also had some MH issues and have been working really hard on those. This has knocked me today and I feel like shite because of it.

I feel like I am a nice, sociable person, I'm friendly, talk easily with strangers. Emotionally I suppose I can be a mix bag.

It's a big group of girls, and I can't help but feel I'm not worth the effort. They still have a big group so it's not like that they are friendless and I'm too much effort so honestly why would you bother with me.

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. Well done on your rehab and sobriety.

It sounds as if you might have drifted apart. Sometimes that happens and it’s no one’s fault, it definitely doesn’t mean that you’re not worth bothering with, only that that particular friendship has run its course.

Tbh it's probably better for your sobriety that you get out there and make new friends. People who only know the sober you. It's apparently common for friends to drift away when a person becomes sober. Your soberity probably makes them uncomfortable because it makes then question their own relationship with drink. It's their issue not yours

@romdowa I do get that a lot of drinking buddy friendships do fall apart because 1 person gets sober. I don't think that is the case here. I think that party I was un-invited to I think they were worried I would end up drinking. I didn't become friends with them via alcohol.

I spoke to my sister who knows these girls. She said give it a few days and text again. That they are prob just busy.

It just makes me feel so insecure. I am very emotional this week anyway so there's that. When I saw their pictures earlier I won't like my head immediately went to a very very dark place. It is something I would have previously drank on but I didn't want to drink I just wanted to run away/ have the world swallow me up.

Instead I text DH and told him how I felt.