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Alcohol support

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I want to stop drinking

6 replies

Hairbaby · 21/08/2023 11:56

Hi I’m 40 next year and I have been so unhappy for a while with my drinking but struggling to stop. I’m not an alcoholic as such and go all week without a drink. Then comes the weekend Friday, Saturday and Sunday and it starts. Have dinner with a bottle of wine with DH and then a few gins but I’m waking up in the morning absolutely ill. Doesn’t stop me from drinking again the next night. I run quite a lot and do a lot of exercise but come the weekend I’m lazy and feel horrible about myself. Yesterday for example (Sunday) when I got up you would have thought I had been on an all day bender the previous day. I was ill! Had a bottle of wine and 3 gins. I felt terrible. I feel the older I’m getting the worse the hangover and it’s just making me feel so low. I feel great during the week. Fit and healthy then the weekend I’m like a different person. I need to stop this now as I can go on in this viscous circle. Any suggestions welcome 🤗

OP posts:
alco · 21/08/2023 14:44

Hello, well obv a very different situation to what I eventually found myself in (drinking every weekend) so I can't advise one what I did.

But maybe try and only drink 1 night at the weekend? Or limit how much you do drink per night. A full bottle of wine and 3 G&Ts is actually a lot of alcohol to consume in 1 night, even though many people (inc me) could easily do. That is more than you should consume in a whole week.

I am not judging at all, but really 2 glasses of wine should be enough for 1 night. Or 2 G&Ts. Maybe the splurge like you had only very occasionally.

I stopped drinking at 30 (mostly), but I do think hangover get worse as you get older. It makes sense, your body just can't process things as efficiently as they used to. TBF that amount would have made me very groggy the next morning.

mindutopia · 22/08/2023 10:28

It sounds like you are able to not drink the rest of the week, so what's different about those nights compared to the weekends?

I would imagine that you don't drink Monday-Thursday because you have other things to keep your busy and you have things you need to be fresh for the next day. Can you make your weekends like that?

It's a bit different, because I'm an alcoholic and was a heavy daily drinker, but I found that one thing that helped me was to fill up my time with non-drinking things. You already run, so plan your long runs for the weekend and early, so you know you have to get to bed nice and fresh to get up for a run. Do something on a Friday or Saturday that can't involve drinking - go take an exercise/art/whatever class (I started going to a Friday evening sound bath which was 7-9pm, and after that I was ready for a cup of herbal tea and bed). Go to the cinema. Do for an evening hike. Even if you have small children at home, leave them with your partner and make one of those evenings about doing something for yourself.

You could also consider doing 30 days alcohol free - enlist your partner too so you do it together. Bee Sober does one, as does This Naked Mind, I'm sure there are others.

I'd also look into grey area drinking, because it sounds like you are a grey area drinker - you aren't physically dependent and drinking every day, but you don't have a healthy relationship with alcohol either. You're in the 'grey area' between healthy and alcoholism. There is lots of support for grey area drinkers and actually in my AF groups, most people would identify themselves as fitting in that part of the spectrum, so you would very much not be alone, even in support groups, etc. if that's an option you took.

Hairbaby · 22/08/2023 15:04

Thank you @alco for your message. Yeah I definitely feel it more after Iv had a drink and will defo try and limit it.

OP posts:
Hairbaby · 22/08/2023 15:05

@mindutopia i have never heard of grey area drinking. I will defo look into it. Thanks very much for all your tips! I will definitely try them!!

OP posts:
Spicylollies · 27/09/2023 18:54

I'm a bit late here but I just read Allen Carrs stop drinking book, it's amazing. I've stopped drinking altogether and I drank a lot! Way more than I would of admitted to at the time. I don't even want to drink another drop, I feel free and so happy. I'm feeling so much better and as an added bonus have lost a lot of weight.
This reads like a bit of a paid ad lol it's really not. I read his stop smoking one 9yrs ago and also haven't had a cigarette since. Defo give it a go, you have nothing to loose (except the time to read the book of course 😅)

Tiredbehyondbelief · 27/09/2023 18:58

I would recommend Unwinding Anxiety by Dr Brewer (available on Amazon). His strategies work for all sorts of bad habits

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