Why I am quitting drinking

[StartingSober]

Hi all,.
I have been trying to get sober on and off for over a year. I'm one of those 'gray area drinkers'. Have had some sober stretches, and lots of annoying lapses/relapses. Moderation isn't for me

I have learnt a lot along the way and hoping I can get it to stick this time - day 1.

I want to list all the bad things about drinking, for motivation.

Drinking makes my anxiety and depression worse
Drinking ruins my self-esteem and makes me feel low
Drinking ruins my sleep
Drinking sets a bad example to my children
Drinking makes me annoying socially
Drinking means I'm distancing myself from life
Drinking makes me gain weight
Drinking robs me of energy and makes it harder for me to stick to a routine
Drinking makes me feel like I am not the mother I want to be
Drinking makes me worry about my long-term health
Drinking messes with my dopamine and makes me enjoy small pleasures less
Drinking makes me feel embarrassed
Drinking stops me being present and living life to the full
Drinking gets in the way of good habits and personal growth
Drinking problems are progressive so I always live with the worry that I will end up drinking more
Drinking makes my medication less effective
Drinking wastes my money and my time

Good luck, @StartingSober !

Hi @StartingSober just read your post, honestly well done, keep going, you can do this.
My Dad died of Alcoholism, i wish he had changed.
Please continue to work towards this change and keep us updated.

Yes my friend, you are me 70 days ago!

I too had long sober stretches, and was happy to enjoy a drink on special occasions. Over the course of a year or so, the special occasions turned into Thursday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday whether there was an event or not (Friday night movie on the couch counts as an event right?!)

Anyway, again decided the returns on the first buzz of booze were no longer worth it. My fitness goals remained out of reach, but in touching distance, I regretted drinking (even one drink) the next day and it messed with my emotional resilience.

So I jacked it in 70 days ago and have been flying high ever since. Highly recommend joining the Reddit stop drinking forum if you need daily/immediate support, or just friendlies to chat to.

It's funny because I'd go through months of easy sobriety but never with the view to make it permanent. This time though, it feels like my brain has said "enough" - also highly recommend any sober life/Quit lit books. Eye opening, funny, honest and supportive reads.

In the last 70 days Ive celebrated wedding anniversary, danced through carnival, navigated an airport and girls weekend away, birthdays, and Friday night I danced until 2am and then drove everyone home. All sober, all brilliant events. And not once did I crave a drink.

There are so many non-alc options out there too now, so you won't ever feel you're missing out!

Good luck and well done!

Thanks so much for your support :) it has been so frustrating going back and forth with drinking/not drinking, and I am honestly exhausted! I start a new job in 2 weeks. I have 2 weeks off now so would love to start my new job with 2 weeks behind me - a new start!

@Strokethefurrywall congratulations on 70 days :) I know the Reddit you mentioned and believe that yesterday you were due a Nice!

@Summer2424 thanks for your encouragement, I think a lot about how I want my children to remember their childhood and that worry is my main motivation to quit.

I will come back here and update:)

@StartingSober - yes that's me! It's bright and sunny over here on the flip side, you will be fine!

Good luck

nearly 2 years ago I was in this place, took me another few weeks to stop but it’s the best thing ever.

Great list but why not rewrite it so instead of the negatives of drinking it’s the positives of sobriety. Don’t let that crap take over your head space and precious time any more.

This is a really good point!

OP, you’ve made a decision that may be hard to stick with at times, but forewarned is forearmed. Go for it!!

Thank you for your support. I will try the new lists as suggested by @brightspice90DaysLater and @TooOldForThisNonsense .

Positives of not drinking:
Good sleep
Having the chance to work through feelings
Increased confidence
Better diet
More money
More time
Feeling better physically
Setting a good example
More energy
Getting more done
Recapturing joy in small things

I've thought about what I have 'used' alcohol for and I think it's usually to detach from my feelings, anxiety and overthinking.

I tend to use alcohol to

• not feel tired (e.g. when I have visitors and feel low energy)
• numb myself to anxiety which comes from unpredictable or new situations (e.g. holiday in a new place, hosting a party with lots of tasks to get done)
• numb myself to feeling overwhelmed and transition to the evening (e.g. a very busy week work/ long day in school holidays)
• to detach from difficult feelings (e.g. husband says something nasty and I don't know how to handle it emotionally)

I am neurodivergent and have OCD and had a traumatic childhood so basically I have always struggled with the above emotional issues - tiredness, anxiety in unpredictable situations, difficulty expressing feelings, low self esteem.

It will take a lot to be able to deal with these problems. Some things that help me are meditation, breathwork, journalling and fresh air - but low energy is a challenge for these as well.

I do need to focus on things that will help heal me rather than make things worse, and allow myself rest when I need it.

Hi, just checking in to say things are going well. Life is so stressful at the moment but at least I can say I am not drinking!!! Will sort out the rest of life all in good time.

Amazing work @StartingSober, you've made it through the hardest part, so congratulations!

All the other stressful things are so much easier to deal with without booze, your emotional resilience will surge and you'll feel far better equipped to deal with the ups and downs!

Keep on keeping on!

Well done! Xx