I’m drinking a bottle and a half a day

[Hannahbananna2222]

Hello all,

please don’t judge, but I’m currently drinking a bottle and a half of red wine a day. I’ve been doing this for probably the last 9 months.

I know its bad, I know I need to stop, and I promise myself every day that I need to wein myself off but I just can’t seem to kick it. I don’t even want it most of the time, it’s just habit that I can’t seem to break!

I’m just so anxious about stopping and getting really bad anxiety, plus all the other symptoms!

I don’t think im dependent as there have been days where ive only had a glass, and I don’t have any withdrawal symptoms. But I just can’t get it out of my head that I can’t relax or know what to do with myself if I stop (anxiety is a big problem for me, and has always been, irrespective of the booze) .

any advice welcome

You know that that amount is problematic. Do you have a local alcohol service you can self-refer to? Are you addressing your anxiety in other ways too?

Adrian Chiles has written a book about cutting down on alcohol, that’s had really good reviews. It might be a good place to start.

my anxiety stopped when I stopped drinking wine daily. It’s taken me a long time to put two and two together but a chronic bout of anxiety recently convinced me to stop and pretty much overnight the anxiety had gone.

Speak to your GP, they may be able to refer you for help. There might be local support services too that you can self-refer too so have a look online. Best of luck.

If you think you need it to relax, maybe the way forward is to find other ways to unwind. I convinced myself that I wouldn’t sleep without wine, but it turned out that I could when I had to, and it was stop or die.

I found hypnosis tracks worked well - Craig Beck is very good. I made a routine of it - bath, oils on a warmer in the bedroom so I associated the smell with sleep, and the hypnosis as I drifted off. I didn’t bother with the quit lit, as I felt it would just remind me of what I couldn’t have, and I switched to alcohol free wine to deal with the habit of opening a bottle and pouring a glass or six in the evening.

It worked for me, but not everyone approves of the AF wine, and many people swear by the quit lit, so do what you think will suit your mindset. You can do it though. It is easy to think that drink helps us to relax, but it’s honestly easy to manage without it. Good luck.

Thank you!!

Read and watch everything you can about how much damage you are doing to your body until the need to quit becomes more important than tomorrows drink.

Give up for a month. Feel how tough it it is, how dull the evenings are, how strong the cravings. Feel how good the mornings are without any tiredness or hangover, how much more you get done.
Go back to drinking once you done your month because you feel you can moderate. Realise you’ve gone straight back to drinking a bottle a night again. Give up for Sober October ( I’m on Dry July) . Repeat for a year or two until you either do genuinely cut down or you become a full on alcoholic.
I used to be able to moderate but increasingly I can’t. I have to make a proper effort to not drink at all for a set period.

Imagine you are me.....this might make you think.

I've had a stressful two months of blood tests ... a routine blood test showed an issue with my liver... cue 4 more blood tests to investigate further.

I've been told my liver is 'struggling' a little. Docs said I need an ultrasound and an appt with a consultant which I'm yet to have. I have an appointment next week to discuss 'lifestyle changes'.

I think I have a chance to improve my liver function as doc said this is about prevention of things worsening.
I am about 4.5 stone overweight....largely because I drank too much....but I drink nowhere near what you are drinking and I've had a massive wake up call. I was drinking probably over double the recommended weekly units. I've more than halved that in the last 6 weeks.

I've switched to lower alcohol whites and have been measuring 125ml small glasses and having it with either soda or loads of ice cubes. If I fancy a red, no heavy ones and again 125ml with ice (I know red should be room temp but 🤷‍♀️) or Sangria is a lighter option which is lovely over ice with oranges and strawberries. I've also stocked up on luxury soft drinks eg I have blood orange soda and Ginger Beer (non alcohol!!) all lovely over ice. I put it in a big wine glass do it feels special!

Last week I drank just 11 units and I honestly didn't miss it. This is me who, every Fri, Sat, Sun and the occasional Weds would routinely drink over a bottle to myself. I never drank Mon, Tues, Thurs. I couldn't wait for Friday night to crack that first bottle. Now a switch has been thrown in my head by this health scare and I know I'm never drinking at those levels again....I simply don't want to drink loads.....like you, half the time I didn't even want it, it was just a habit and a sort of 'it's what I do' kind of mentality.

You don't want to end up in this situation....if you carry on as you are you will end up with your liver in a mess. So pretend you're me....you've had a warning and if you can't cut back and drink more sensibly like me, then wean yourself off it gradually and safely and stop completely for the sake of your health. Good luck x

I drink probs half a bottle of gin every night. And function as a parent and working person in a challenging job. I'm just waiting for a medical person to say I am likely to die soon before I can make it stop. I'm not overweight and life ticks along just fine.

I recommend vitamin B complex for the anxiety and the health of your liver. Then find a better way of relaxing ang having a good time.

Hi @Hannahbananna2222 your brain is reacting to alcohol the way it’s designed to. I would start by reading some “quit lit” so you understand what’s going on a bit better- Alcohol Explained by William Porter (I think you can read the first few chapters for free on his website), This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray would all be good starting points.

The alcohol is fuelling your anxiety, not mitigating it! Alcohol makes you MORE anxious, not the other way round. You are trying to put out fire with fire.

Are you having therapeutic treatment or prescription meds for anxiety? I would say that's a good place to start if not. And joining one of the sober threads on Mumsnet for chatting and support - there's always someone around to talk to on there.

@WesterChick - that's 20 units a night. 140 units a week.

You will be causing damage to your liver whether it shows straightaway or not. It may show in 10 years from now, when you have irreversible liver cirrhosis.

I work on a dialysis unit, and we have several ex-heavy drinkers who also have kidney failure.

sorry @WesterChick I meant to say can you access support to help you cut down? Or at least have some alcohol free days?

This quantity of drinking will add to your anxiety as it adds in the shame and guilt of knowing you are drinking to excess.

I did that for a long time, so no judgement here.

I've cracked it recently with the help of anti depressants and moderate to no drinking.

What stopped me was the realisation I am literally killing myself but slowly. Your body is definitely not 'just fine', nor is your mental health.

That said,you can only accept help when you recognise it's a problem. I knew I just didnt care. Now I do.

Lots of good advice here. One other suggestion is maybe try meditation, breathing and relaxation techniques.

There are apps for this. Headspace is a good one but I'm sure there are others.

They have courses on managing anxiety.

I have used Headspace for a number of years after being recommended it by a pain consultant and I can honestly say it's made my quality of life so much better.

Very best wishes. To start looking for advice and help us a great step forward.