Cant do it anymore....

[Owlyhedgehog]

Im a single parent, have 2 DC aged 7 and 16. Ive been a single parent for 5 years.
My drinking has got worse the past couple years, stressful job, everyday stresses and then I 'treat' myself with wine. I drink a bottle a night.
I wake up every morning feeling like crap, get up and go to work.
I am wasting so much money on this poison.
Tonight I was driving into my village and saw a man bend down and then fell over (he is know for drinking too much and has been admitted several times.) 3 people went over to help him, they got him up and he was stumbling and had a carrier bag from the local shop.
This has really hit me tonight and he is probably 5-6 years older than me. I dont want to end up this this.
I have no one to talk to, dont want to tell my friends, I feel so ashamed. Just watched eastenders too so sobbing!

Oh lovely
It took me seeing someone older and an obvious heavy drinker to bring home to me what my future could look like. It planted the seed of wanting to quit. I knew I’d had enough of doing what I was doing. Unfortunately the pandemic then hit and my drinking actually ramped up a bit for a few months but I’m now (today!) 3 years sober.
Its great you have recognised that you don’t want to go on this way, spending money, feeling crap, sliding further down the slippery slope. (Let me tell you the spare money I now have is unreal!)
If you have no one irl to talk to there is a freephone number for AA, they can put you in touch with someone to support you and you would be able to chat. The GP may be able to signpost you to any services available locally, and there is always support on here.

https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/Home/Get-Help-Now

Thank you so much. I feel ashamed to tell anyone although tonight have dropped a little hint to my bestie.
Its made me feel awful seeing this person tonight.
I have a couple of books, have been reading the unexpected joy of being sober recently x

Get sober it will enhance your life, health and relationships with your DC, career and friends. You CAN do it!

The unexpected joy of being sober was my bible when I was quitting. I read a little everyday, if only to remind myself how much I didn’t want to end up like the author! so brave of her to put it out there, I’m so thankful she did.
I’m glad you’ve felt able to hint of a problem. I’m sure your friend would hate for you to be going through this alone. Take it one day at a time lovely, tomorrow is a new day.