Three years ago

[Oldhabitsarehardtobreak]

On this day in 2020 I had my last drink.
Most of my family & friends didn’t know how bad my drinking had got.
They didn’t know how frequently, or how much, I was drinking so I can’t get to say this in real life.
I’m off to bed now. Tomorrow I will wake up hangover free, have a quick run, then head off to work and I won’t be be able to say to my colleagues “I’m 3 years sober today”.
I'm proud of myself, but it’s tinged with shame that I actually got so bad in the first place and I don’t know how to lose that.

Surely the triumph is in part that you overcame the difficulty, which was immense. There's no shame in experiencing such difficulty. You have been, for whatever reasons, under the cosh of addiction, and you have overcome it. Have empathy for your suffering; I do. And I celebrate your sobriety - all power to you.

Well done OP and congrats. How did you stop the drinking? With support or on your own? How?

Thank you Kleptronic I will try harder to focus more on the fact I gave up, rather than the fact that I was in that position in the first place.

cc4712 I just got to the point that I didn’t want to be doing this anymore because I saw the future I would have, I have alcoholics in the family that are now in awful positions. I had, for a couple of years, attempted to unsuccessfully moderate and it suddenly struck me that the only way was to quit. I thought about it for a couple of weeks, I lurked on here, then I bought the book The unexpected joy of being sober. I read a little every day as I started my journey. I left my purse at home so I couldn’t stop at the shop on the way home from work, I had early showers and left my hair wet & got in bed with a book so that I wasn’t tempted to nip out. I ate my weight in chocolate as my body craved the sugar I was missing from wine. Little by little it got easier but it really was a case of one day at a time.

Massive congratulations on 3 years! Even if you don’t want to say it out loud at work I hope you’re proud of yourself- you’ve done something that many people only dream of

Thank you Onewildandpresciouslife

Well I say A MASSIVE WELL DONE! I know how freaking hard it can be when the grips are on you. But you have done it, you just need to keep doing it.

Thank you alco. I am feeling a little more pleased with myself, 156 weeks is not to be sniffed at!

It really isn't! Really well done!

I'm a long way behind you, just coming up to a year sober, but most of my family and friends didn't know either how bad things had got. So I too don't really speak about it, but I do allow myself little moments of reflection when I compare the life I have today with that I had a year ago when I was in full-blown active addiction.

Many congratulations, three years is amazing! ODAAT.

Thank you Dogslikecheeseontoast fab name btw. Well done to you! You will be celebrating a full year and then starting to tick off the next. I saw on one thread ages ago someone was going to mark their one year sober by treating themselves to a necklace from Tiffany’s. I thought that was a lovely idea.

Happy 3years and 3days @Oldhabitsarehardtobreak it's massive!

Def do something to mark it if you can, at 3yrs sober I bought myself a watch. Nothing too fancy but I love it. No one else knows the anniversary, it's not something I openly celebrate but that's ok with me. I like it. Whoever else you were able to hide the truth from, in the end you can't lie to yourself so this whole journey is between me and me. And I like sober me. I'm pleased there was enough left of her to claw her way free from the hold alcohol once had on her.

I look back and feel nothing but relief and gratitude.

I understand why thinking of past you might make you feel shame but you don't deserve to. You got yourself free. You smashed it. You deserve nothing but a massive inner smile. I hope it's glowing inside you somewhere.

This internet stranger is so bloody proud of u ❤️

Well done OP! Can I ask... do you miss it?

Very well done, that is a fantastic achievement!! I “celebrated” six months sober last weekend and hope I can carry on to make it a year and eventually 3 too, like you!

Well done you, I will be 2 years sober next month. No one IRL knows just how bad it had got for me either as I was good at hiding it but I knew if I wanted a future that didn’t bring shame on my family I was just going to have to quit.

Well done OP that is an amazing achievement. You should be very proud as it's not easy.
I'm 2 years sober in September and like you nobody really knows how bad it was before that. I do still find it hard to say to people that I don't drink as I feel uncomfortable when they ask why (so many ask which I wax surprised at)
Work Christmas party has been organised this week (seems early doesn't it!!) but I feel happy that I don't have to worry about how I will get home