Day 1 again.

[Allthecatseverywhereallatonce]

I cannot do this anymore. I was sober for one whole year and never felt so good. I then burnt out at work and of course started drinking again.
Why do I do this? I am letting everyone down and they deserve better than this.

Just rambling a bit here, wondering if this time I should join a support group? I didn't last time but maybe that's why I failed again. I really hate myself and I just don't want this anymore.

Hating yourself is not going to help.

I think there are huge benefits from support groups. I would find one, go and take it one step at a time.

I would really recommend finding community and support. I can't recommend Bee Sober enough. They have a private facebook group, online support groups, face-to-face meet ups (if you fancy). You've been sober for a whole year, so you know the benefits and that life was better without. That's a huge hurdle to get over! But you also know that life doesn't get better when you start drinking again.

Thanks @brbrightspice90DaysLater I am 2 weeks sober today, tbh my year alcohol free has helped me get to this point. At the moment I really don't miss it and feel much better without it.

Keep on going!

It's just a blip and the hangxiety will be awful today. Just get through today and start being sober again tomorrow. 364/365 days without drinking in a whole year is absolutely brilliant achievment and a relapse doesn't take away from that. They are normal. It's what you do NEXT that counts! Good luck xx

Thank you. So it has been nearly 4 weeks and I feel great. Like i said I have been here before so I know the pitfalls. It really isn't difficult.

If it really isn’t difficult why can’t I do it?!
slightest beat of stress and I hit the wine. There’s no wine in the house so I’m hitting the whisky. Not good. I don’t even like whisky.

Stopping drinking is only a small part of getting sober. In order to stay stopped you have to rethink your life, which is really, really hard.

You need to develop new, healthy coping mechanisms. You need to understand why you drink. You need to disentangle all the old attachments and habits about alcohol.You need to realise that when you start to feel amazing after 2 weeks, you feel amazing because you have stopped drinking, not because you have miraculously acquired the ability to moderate.

But the benefits of stopping are enormous and often unexpected.

To quote Laura Mcowen: only you can do it. You cannot do it alone.

Find a support network- in person or online. I got sober mainly with the help of the thread on here for living alcohol free (will post a link). Or AA or SMART might be for you, or one of the Facebook groups.

And read lots of quit lit. Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray or Sober Dairies by Clare Pooley are good starting points.

There is a gym near me that has a poster outside “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.” True of sobriety too..

Thank you so much for posting. It’s very kind of you, I know you’re right, it’s mental as much as physical.