MIL & potential drinking problem ?

[an457]

I want to keep details minimum in case she could read on here but I am becoming genuinely concerned

For some context though, she has 6 children (including DP) with her youngest being 9. She has been with her partner 5 years, he is a heavy drinker . We have 3 DC aged up to 6

Especially over covid we noticed them drinking more but put it down to boredom of lockdown however once the pubs re opened they go more and more often

A typical week they will go to the pub at least 4 times, sometimes even before school ends so the older children will have to take their younger siblings home and warm their dinner up etc, I personally feel like it's not fair on the older siblings tied down to watching the younger 2 and its not fair on the younger siblings their DM being out so much, we have tried to bring this up to her but she shoots it down and ends up falling out with DP for interfering

So DP became concerned about this and spoke to his DM basically saying it seemed excessive to be going drinking so much, when we see her it's like she's constantly itching for the next opportunity to go out, my eldest has been so upset that nan hasn't seen them for weeks and let them down to sleep or have dinner frequently

I guess I'm asking aibu to think this is excessive drinking? I'm worried she's going to end up an alcoholic if she's not already

sounds like she is already an alcoholic and already neglecting her younger children. I’m not sure what you can do though if she isn’t willing to recognise there is an issue.

Does her partner not step in to watch the younger children or are they not about?

Her partner goes out with her, he's not the children's dad but has been in their life for the past 5 years. I feel like it's spiralling now but we are unsure what we can do if anything, she laughs it off if anyone says she drinks a lot. It can't be healthy for her body.

It does sound worrying that there may be child neglect caused by the alcohol issue. I would suggest calling the safeguarding team at social services- you will be able to easily find this online. You may not be able to influence her drinking which sounds problematic but you can ensure steps are taken to protect the children in her care. I hope things improve in the future- it sounds like a difficult situation.