I am feeling very fragile and vulnerable right now so I ask that posters try to be mindful of that whilst also giving me support and advice please (I hope that's okay to ask).
I am 38 weeks pregnant with my second child with DP. DP has always liked a drink however he works away from home for 2 weeks at a time and then is back for the weekend so it wasn't apparent to me the level to which his drinking had become an issue as when he was back at the weekends he would have 3x 620ml bottles of peroni each night. Sometimes more but usually it was 3. This seemed alright to me for someone to be drinking on their days off from work. Sometimes in the evening when I would be talking to him he might be drinking a bottle of beer but this was just sometimes, and again, the odd bottle of beer didn't seem that bad. Anyway, in the last month I've had issues with the pregnancy that have meant he's had to be home as much as possible and it's become clear that this 3 bottles of beer is every night and can be more some nights. I spoke to him about this and he said he knew it was too much and he would cut back, he managed a few nights drinking 0% alcohol then started up again (one bottle, then two then back to three). From talking to him it's become clear that he is an alcoholic, he can't not have those beers. As I was so close to the end of pregnancy I kept hoping he would get his shit together but it's become very clear that that isn't going to happen. I had to go into the hospital for a few nights and the day I came out something really stressful happened in his life. His way of dealing with it was to drink 6 320ml bottles of peroni. I had just come out of hospital and had been told that if there were certain warning signs that occurred it was imperative that I go straight back to hospital. Despite that he still drank, knowing it meant he wouldn't be able to take me if anything happened, because it's the only way he was capable of dealing with what had happened.
That was the moment I knew I have to leave. I know he is an alcoholic and that alcohol will come first.
I feel so annoyed with myself getting to this stage and not realising or doing anything sooner. I could literally have my baby any day now. But the thing is he is so high functioning, he holds down a good job, when he's been drinking at home he waits til the kids are asleep before having anything, when he's working away he goes to the gym or rock climbing or playing sport after work but when he gets home he always has those beers before bed.
In all honesty I think I've known for longer than I've admitted to myself and been in denial. There were periods where he would say he was going to quit drinking but never could for very long.
I know I need to leave because it's not going to get any better. I don't want my children growing up feeling the way that I did that night when I realised that having a drink was more important to him than me and my wellbeing. But right now feels like such a tricky time to do it with being so close to giving birth and throw everything into turmoil. To makes this even messier, I can't just ask him to leave as his two older children live with us full time. They can't go live with their mum so I take care of them while DP works away (i know there will be those that have things to say . If I leave then I would need to go live with my parents as I don't really have anyone else I can stay with, my parents can be really controlling and so I would really rather not live with them again if I can help it (and to be honest I think there's a reason how I've ended up with an alcoholic and kidding myself on/accepting his issues for so long).
When I've spoken to my friends and family about it they keep telling me to wait until the baby is born and then make a decision of what to do but I know already what I need to do. I just need to work out how I am doing it and when. If I can hold on until the baby is a few months then I can go to stay with family abroad for a bit until I can get things sorted back here. I don't really know how else to do it.