Unsupportive partner

[Builtme]

I can't seem to find a way through this on my own at the moment so asking here for support. I came to the realisation I'm an alcoholic about a month ago. Was drinking a bottle of wine or two a night and would drink what evers left over in the morning. Pouring myself larger glasses before bed so I could drink what's left in the glass in the morning.
Finally wobbled my head and went to an AA two weeks ago but my partner keeps saying I just need to drink less not stop entirely. Obviously there's lots of past and mental health issues I won't go into here that led to this point but I don't know how to make my partner understand how I'm struggling. He drinks alot but seems more acceptable as a males to have three or four beers a night and it not be a problem.
We have two children together and love each other very much but this is something I'm really struggling with. He keeps bringing alcohol I to the house, he doesn't drink gin often but since I've stopped buying wine, he's bought home two bottles and offered me g&ts of an evening.
I'm not sure what I'm looking for, but maybe advise on if it's possible to be sober while living with someone who isn't?!

He doesn’t want you giving up because then it shines a light on how much he drinks, not uncommon judging by a few threads I’ve seen on here.

When I was giving up drinking DH did at least do a month alcohol free too. When he then started having a few drinks he would automatically ask me if I wanted anything until I got cross and told him to stop, thankfully he supported me in giving up. He does have alcohol once or twice a week and I am fine with that, but I’m not sure if I could have given up initially if he had been like your husband.

Have you tried telling him straight that this is important to you you and you need his help, actually told him to stop offering you alcohol?

I hope he can change and support you in becoming AF, you are doing a amazing to have made the decision to stop and to have resisted drinking with him offering you alcohol. Would he come to AA with you do you think? Maybe that will show him how serious you are.

That is very tough. I am guessing he doesn't want you to stop drinking because he thinks (rightly or wrongly) that it will bring how much he drinks to the forefront. Tell him it is about you and what you want to do with about your drinking.

He doesn't want you giving up because then he'd feel uncomfortable about his own drinking. He's being incredibly selfish. You must stick to your guns and not let him ruin this for you. It is literally a case of you trying to save your own life, and he is happy to sabotage that.

I agree with the others that it's not very supportive, but on the other hand when you give up drinking you have to learn to live in a world where others still drink, and in some ways if you can do that from the get go it is all to the good.

I gave up a while ago, but carried on going to bars and social events where people drank, but stuck to my lime and soda or alcohol-free wine. My husband still drinks, but not as much as I used to, and he carried on doing so. I found that 'joining in' with AF wine made it easier, although I know that's not for everyone.

I think it would have been harder if I'd only been around non-drinkers, as sooner or later that has to stop, and it would have been more difficult to socialise teetotal if I'd cut myself off from 'normal life' at the start.

I think he should stop offering you booze though, even if it would make it easier for him if you gave up.