Elderly alcoholic parent discharged from hospital after fall but can’t cope at home

[LeeMiller]

Alcoholic father fell and has broken collarbone and ribs. Historic bruises from other falls he can’t remember. Depressed and hasn’t been eating. He is very unsteady on feet, in pain but as drinking can only have small amount of paracetamol. He’s been sent home from hospital but house is dangerous and wildly unsuitable: the only loo is upstairs, he has huge hoarding issues so trip hazards are everywhere. Sibling is there today but overwhelmed and angry. My mum can’t cope and is ready to move out. I’m overseas and can’t fly over at the moment.

Is there any kind of care I can help him access? He has funds but need someone to signpost for us. Doubt he’s willing to get help but he can’t cope at home without support so we need something in the immediate term. Are there charities specialising in alcohol/elderly issues? Would a private rehab centre take someone with an injury or would a care home take an alcoholic? Don’t know what to do.

Hi @LeeMiller - sorry you are going through this. I think the main issue is if he is prepared to accept help or not and is he prepared to stop drinking?

Yous DPs home situation sounds worrying but the hospital won’t keep him in unless he is physically unwell and his home situation is more of a social problem.

Private rehab places like the priory will have medical staff / psychiatrists so I would imagine if he has been discharged from hospital, he would be medically well enough to go there. I think the priory is about £28k a month for in patient rehab (not 100% sure if this is accurate) but it will be money wasted if he doesn’t want to stop drinking.

Would he go to his GP and ask for help? I’m in Scotland and there is help available, but it’s not great.

Good luck - it’s a shit situation to be in 💐

Make a referral to your adult social care team at your local authority.

even if he doesn't want an assessment your mum is entitled to one as his carer so if she agrees that's the 'in'.

yes care homes take alcoholics, again social services will be able to point you in the right direction on that one.

He “wants” to stop but won’t seek professional support with detoxing and obviously on his own isn’t able to stop. He did see the gp last week after my sibling arranged it. This is the first proper injury so we will see if it scares him enough to agree to seek help.

Think my mum may have reached tipping point so he won’t have a carer. Will call adult social care though, thank you.

Sounds like it could be considered an unsafe discharge by the hospital but too late now as he’s home.

Absolutely contact adult social care for an OT assessment. My local coucil has Single Point of Access - worth looking to see if yours does.

I think an OT saw him in hospital and gave him the option of a follow-up visit to discuss the safety of the house, he sort of agreed but again it needs him to follow up.

I’m shocked they sent him home (though I know they don’t have beds) but not sure how clear my mum would have been about unwillingness to provide care and unsuitability of home, I know my sibling tried.

Without being too offensive, I’d definitely see at OT that works in the community (adult social care). That can be arranged through your council and if necessary, a SW too.

Thanks. I’ve found the referral form for the local adult social care so will contact them tomorrow.

He is now asleep on the floor as slipped off sofa and nobody can get him up. 111 called an ambulance but doubt they will do anything but have told sibling to ask about safeguarding and whether discharge was unsafe.

Silly question but why a 111 call if he's passed out on the floor? Mum has 80+ friends who have done this. Awful for anyone with him, I know.

one of mum's contacts stopped drinking after his kids said they wouldn't help anymore.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

too late for now but if you can arrange a community alarm, lots of councils have falls response teams, often St John ambulance to pick people up who are injured.

hopefully he’ll be taken back to hospital and your mum and uk based siblings need to be firm that the home environment isn’t safe for him and they are unable to support his needs and that either additional home care or a placement in a care home is needed. If your Dad has capacity, of course he’ll need to agree to this.

He didn’t pass out drunk onto the floor, he slipped as no balance (generally and worse due to collarbone and sling) and nobody there is physically able to lift him up. So I think they panicked. Some you g strong neighbours came to help him up and the ambulance has been cancelled. I will pass on the community/st johns ambulance info.

I feel very helpless and and guilty for being far away and letting others deal with it but also relived. Then guilty about that. Will try adult care tomorrow and the alcohol service recommended by the gp.

Sort of knew this was coming but it’s still overwhelming and I can’t bear the idea of him going on like this for months or years.

Oh I see
how old is he? Would a medication like antabuse be a possibility - assuming he'd actually want to try it?

he is late 70s.

I actually think he might consider that medication but he has to talk to someone first is the hard bit. He gave up alcohol for 15 years and so insists he can do it again and doesn’t need help doing so but clearly that’s no longer true. He did get as far as the gp last week but wouldn’t call the alcohol service. Maybe this will be the wake up call he needs to go through with it. It’s all we can hope for. He is depressed, very scared, ashamed to admit it. Also very anxious about hospitals/care homes/psychiatric help due to past negative experiences of other friends and relatives. But at a minimum carers will be necessary I think.

Thank you all for the kind words.